Broken Fairy tale
by Darkstar55
Summary: Alice's premonitions won't save Bella and Jasper from the hurt, betrayal and heartbreak Edward and herself are creating. Will their seemingly selfish act bring together the two least likely Cullen's or will it destroy the whole family?
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first fanfic so lets see if you like it. I would love reviews good or bad. Hope you enjoy._

_This story takes place after Eclipse._

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing twilight**_

BPOV'

...

I Spent the entire morning in La Push with Jake because the Cullen's were out hunting. I still wasn't allowed to be there, though no one had tried to kill me in months. After we got rid of Victoria everything has been peaceful. But Edward was still worried about me. The time I now spent with Jake I cherished. Knowing all to well that it would soon be coming to an end. Edward had agreed to change me after the wedding, which was only a few weeks away. The decision to be changed would take me away from my best friend and make me his mortal enemy. I secretly hoped he would have a change of heart. That he would be able to see past what I had become and still see that I was still the same old Bella. Time I spent with Jake was effortless and peaceful. Just like breathing. He had always been my sun and my rock when things went wrong. I would forever love him for that. Even if it wasn't the love he wanted. He was still by my side till the end. No matter what we were doing weather it was walking along the beach or hanging out with the pack at Emily's. It was like I was home. I knew the Cullen's should be home soon. I was reluctant to leave.

"Jake " I said.

" I know it's time for you to leave" Jake said sadly.

Jake POV

...

As we walked along the beach hand and hand I wondered why she hadn't chosen me. What did that bloodsucker have that I didn't. I loved her and she loved me but some how that still wasn't enough. So I just had to enjoy the time I still had with Bella, my Bella. The days were ticking away and I knew the end was near. I tried my best to convince her to stay human but she was set in her decision. So now I had to deal with it. She would turn into what I was born to fight. It broke my heart to think of her as one of them. I wondered what it would be like. would she be like the other newborns we fought or would she still be Bella. As much as I hated the idea I wondered if somehow we could still be friends. Bella interrupted my thoughts.

"Jake " she said.

I knew all to well what was coming.

"I know it's time for you to leave." I said with sadness in my voice.

Knowing that my time with her was at best limited.

BPOV

...

The ride home was quite as always. I sat there wondering if he was thinking the same things I was. It would hurt to have to live without him but I had made my choice. I wanted him to move on and have a happy life. He was my best friend and he deserved it . My mind was consumed with the many happy memories of Jake and I. Many images flashed through my mind. Taking me back to the time when Jake was my savior, my sun and made life worth living again. How exactly he put me back together is still a mystery to me. I was lost in my day dream that I didn't even notice we were stopped on the side of the road.

"Oops!" Jake said.

"What?" was all I could reply.

I was still wondering what was going on when Jake finally answered.

" I forgot to put in gas before we left La Push." Jake said smiling.

" Are you freaking serious Jake?" I yelled a little upset.

Then I saw the smile on his face and we both burst out laughing.

"I will run and get some gas unless you want to go hiking today." Jake playfully said.

Even Though I knew he was joking hiking didn't sound like to bad of an idea. I missed hiking with Jake and I wasn't sure if I would get this chance again.

" Actually Jake that isn't that bad of an idea." I said .

" Really Bella?" Jake replied a little stunned.

" Yeah I miss hiking with you Jake. I bet that you even know a short cut." I laughed because of the look on his face.

"Okay, if you really want to and yes I do know a short cut. Which will make it a little over a mile and half hike." Jake said with a big smile.

" Then lets go!" I said smiling back.

We headed in to the forest toward the Cullen's house or at least the way I believed the Cullen's house was. I was sure Jake knew what he was doing and I followed. I enjoyed the peacefulness of hiking with Jake. Hiking with Jake wasn't like hiking with the Cullen's, when someone always thought I needed to be carried. Jake never complained about how slow or clumsy I was. He just matched my pace. We walked in silence for a long time just enjoying the scenery and the company. Until Jake finally broke the silence.

" It's just over there a few hundred yards." Jake said a little sad.

We walked a little longer and I finally saw the break in the tree line. About then Jake stopped suddenly.

" Something is wrong I can feel it." He said a little worried.

"I will be right back. " He said in a rush and disappeared into the trees.

JAKE POV

...

My mind was racing. I was worried about what the future would bring. Wishing I knew how everything would play out in the end. Would it be the nightmare I dreaded or would it somehow, someway all work out and be ok. I had been playing this battle over and over in my head for months now. It was beginning to drive crazy. I just didn't know what to do anymore.I wasn't paying attention, when the car started to sputter. Right away I knew what was wrong, I forgot to get gas. Dammit just my luck. I pulled to the side of the road cursing my own stupidity. Bella hadn't noticed yet she was still lost in her own world. I guess I would have to run and get gas I looked over at Bella who still hadn't noticed and said" Oops!".

Bella finally snapped out of it and asked "What?".

"I forgot to get gas before we left La Push." I said feeling quiet stupid.

"Are you freaking serious Jake?" she yelled.

I could see the irritation on her face.

" I will run and get some gas unless you want to go hiking today." I said with sarcasm. I turned and watched for her reaction but couldn't tell what she was thinking. Then she said something that blew me away.

"Actually that isn't that bad of an idea." she said with a smile.

" Really Bella?" Is all I could reply.

"Yeah I miss hiking with you Jake and I bet you even know a shortcut." She said with a smile.

" Okay, if you really want to and yes, I do know a short cut. Which will make it a little over a mile and half hike." I said I as I tried to hide my happiness.

"Then lets go! "she said.

We walked into the forest still in silence and lost in our own worlds.I thought about our hiking trips to find the meadow that she needed to see so bad. Though we never found it because my change messed everything up. So she went looking herself, only to find it and then almost be attacked by that bloodsucker. I don't know what I would have done if the pack and I hadn't shown up and saved her. I shivered at the thought. But we sure had fun tearing him apart and burning the pieces. I glanced over at Bella and my heart swelled with love. It was then that I wondered if our friendship had made through my change, could it make it through hers. Deep down in my heart I hoped that it would because I needed her as much as she needed me. She meant the world to me even if we could only be friends. I looked around and realized we were almost there.

" It's just over there a hundred yards." I said.

We walked towards the opening in the trees. When all the hair on my neck stood up. Something was wrong, I could feel it. Even if I couldn't hear them ,I knew.

" Something is wrong I can feel it." I said worried.

" I will be right back." I said as I ran to the trees.

I left Bella so I could phase. When I did many angry voices filled my head.

"It's not a scent we know!"

" How long ago was it here?"

"Can you track the sent?"

" Yeah! A new bloodsucker to rip to shreds!"

Finally I asked, " What is going on?".

Sam's voice filled my head " There is a bloodsucker on our land. Get home now."

"OK, but I am going to make sure Bella is safe first." I said.

"Fine, hurry!" Sam ordered.

I returned to Bella just before she was about to breakdown.

"What?" was all she said

I was worried what could be happening now. Was it the Cullen's or was it the pack? I was about to start hyperventilating, when Jake finally reappeared with a worried look on his face.

"What?" was all she said.

"There is a bloodsucker on our land?" I said.

"Go don't worry about me. " she said

" What if you get lost?" I said as we ran toward the house.

We were almost there and I could smell them. I knew she would be safe here.

"Now go in the house and stay there!" I roared.

" I will call when I have news." I yelled as I disappeared into the forest.

BPOV

...

I was worried what could be happening now. Was it the Cullen's or was it the pack. I was about to start hyperventilating, when Jake finally reappeared with a worried look on his face.

"What?" was all I could say.

" There is a bloodsucker on our land." Jake said. The anger and worry clear in his eyes.

Jake refused to leave me in the woods, even though the house wasn't far.

" What if you get lost?" Jake protested.

I told him just to go and not worry about me. So we ran toward the tree line and the house. As we neared the tree line.

Jake said" They are here I can smell them."

He walked me almost to the house and stopped.

" Now get inside and stay there! " He shouted.

" I will call when I get some news" he said as he disappeared into the trees.

I headed to the back of the house full of worry and doubt. Who is out there? Are they after me? If they are, will they be the one to succeed in Victoria's task? However as I reached the vast back windows all other thought left my mind. As I peered in, I was met by a sight less welcome then my own demise. There on the couch joined as one, as two life long lovers, was Edward and Alice. My head swam with the sight. My Edward, the keeper of my heart, life and immortality embracing, Alice my best friend, the keeper of secretes, laughter and sisterhood. My vision began blurring, I knew tears would come soon. Before one single drop could fall I turned and ran. I ran far from what I had seen. Far from all the broken promises, betrayal and hurt I felt. I just ran.

_**Hope you all enjoyed and thank you for reading. I know that you all are thinking this is was supposed to be Bella /Jasper story. Well don't worry it is and will get there soon.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I own nothing**

Chapter 2

BPOV

No tears ran from my eyes. There was only the need to get away, that and the throbbing pain in my chest. At some point there was a stretching sensation, I wondered vaguely if might explode. That didn't matter, nothing mattered anymore. I just kept running with no intentions of stopping. I tripped and fell a lot in my haste to distance myself from the pain. My hands and knees were scratched and bleeding. Though I some how never felt the pain, there was no pain greater than the one inside myself. It was that pain that kept me going. No matter what all that mattered was getting as far away from them and that house as possible. I ran for what must have been hours. When I could no longer run I walked, unable to quit moving. Hoping that the distance would some how lessen my pain, it only got stronger. I refused to let myself think of what I had just witnessed and put all my energy into keeping moving.

JAZ POV

The family and I were out hunting but my mind just wasn't in it. All I could think about was that something was very wrong and I needed to find out what. To put me out of my misery. The what ifs that ran through my mind were driving me insane, if vampires can even go insane, then I was close. I had my theories, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe them without proof. This trip was a welcome relief. I needed a chance to put enough distance between Edward and I to be able to think things through.

I am so tired of having to keep reciting my civil war stories in my head every time Edward was around. However, time to think wasn't helping me come to any real conclusion on things. Well at least not one I wanted to deal with. I was always lead back to the one inevitable conclusion and it was killing me . I just couldn't make myself believe it until I had proof. This was the endless cycle that ran through my head and it only managed to push me closer to the edge. So I decided that being alone wasn't helping me any and I decided to find the others. I took off toward our makeshift camp. (We had assembled in case a human came across us) As I neared the camp I heard voices and stopped to see what was going on before anyone knew I was there. So I stood in the forest waiting and listening.

" Well my thirst is well sated and I think I am going to head home early. That way I can check on Bella." Edward said.  
>" Ok I guess we will see you at home then. In the morning most likely . I don't think Emment is done playing with the bears yet," Carlisle said laughingly.<br>" That sounds good and it will give Bella and I some alone time," Edward replied.  
>I heard him take off toward home and I was about to rejoin my family when another voice spoke up.<br>" Maybe I will go too. There are a few sales I want to hit before all the good stuff is gone," Alice said.  
>"I would go too but Emment is not back yet," Rosalie said with a hint of disappointment in her voice.<br>" That's ok, I can pick you up whatever you need. Just name it," Alice replied.  
>"Well there isn't anything to important. I guess we will have to make another shopping trip later," Rosalie answered .<br>" There is never to many shopping trips for me. We will have to plan one once you get home," Alice said with a bell like laugh.  
>"Well see you later I guess," Rosalie said.<br>I heard Alice take off and my heart dropped. This may be the time to get the proof I so desperately needed but how. Alice would see when I made my decision. I thought for a moment and decided maybe if I made a split decision and then kept changing my mind. I might be able to get around Alice's future seeing mind. So I walked out of the forest to join the rest of the family. Making sure not to make a true decision until the last second. Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie were there waiting for Emment return. They turned to look at me as I emerged from the trees.  
>"Hey Alice left just a few moments ago to go shopping and Edward left to check on Bella," Carlisle said.<br>" That's great because I was thinking about taking a little trip by myself too. Just to get away from everyone's emotions for a while. So I can sort through my own, "I said causally.  
>" I understand everyone needs time to themselves sometimes. Especially ones with gifts like yours and Edwards," Carlisle said in his fatherly way.<br>I knew they would believe my story because it was something I often did to clear my mind . They all understood that feeling everyone else emotions all the time was draining and left me little time to deal with my own.  
>" Could you tell Alice that I should be home in a couple of days but I am not sure how many," I said.<br>" Sure thing," Carlisle said.  
>With that I took off into the forest with no true destination in mind. As I ran I heard Esme say they might leave too once Emment returned. With that I thought of peter and Charlette and picked up speed. Knowing I had to make it home before the others made their decision to leave. Just hoping my plan would get me around Alice's visions.<p>

Thanks everyone for the adds and reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER I own nothing**

Chapter 3

**BPOV**

Hours had passed since I had started running, it was getting dark. The rain had started to fall and was increasingly picking up. I couldn't recall when the rain had started. All I could think was that the sky had decided to shed the tears that I had refused to let myself, it made me feel that much more pitiful. The lack of light and muddy ground caused me trip more often. Still through it all I pushed myself further into the forest. It was pitch black now, there was no moon tonight. I fell every other step and it was getting harder to force my body up off the ground. Finally I fell at the base of a large tree and my body refused to stand. It took all I had left to crawl and sit at the base of the tree.

**JAZ POV**

I ran towards the house constantly changing my mind on where I was actually heading. I had to change my coarse several times to be sure Alice wouldn't catch on to quickly. As I neared the forest around Forks. I slowed slightly just in case I ran into a human. I neared the forest around the house with the thought of meeting Peter and Charlotte in Oregon in my head. As I was nearing the house I came across Bella's scent. I briefly wondered why she was so far in the forest knowing how she viewed hiking. But before I could think to much about it . I came across a stench that could only belong to one Jacob Black and I figured she must have been out here with him.

When I was almost to the house I heard footsteps and after a second I realized it was Carlisle and Esme. Damn it, all this planning was out the window. I should have seen this coming, I didn't, that was Alice's job. I walked up the front steps not sure why because all my heart wanted to was run as far away as I could get and forget all the things my mind was saying. But I couldn't stop myself and I opened the door. As I entered the house I was hit will a brick wall of emotions and it almost knocked me to my knees. Lust and satisfaction were thick in the air, behind that almost as an after thought was love. The realization was soul shattering and it took everything I had not to fall apart. Edward and Alice acted normal enough but their emotions were a dead giveaway.  
>They had done what I had suspected for a while. They had slept together. If I hadn't been in so much pain I would have ripped Edward to pieces. But like always I immediately started resighting my war stories in my head while my whole word was falling apart. I walked to the back windows and looked out.<br>" Where is Bella?" Carlisle asked?  
>"Still with Jacob" Edward replied.<br>"It's a little late for her to still be in La Push don't you think?" Esme asked  
>" I guess it is ." Edward answered taking out his phone and punching Jacobs number. But there was no answer.<p>

For some reason this made me worry about Bella. It just didn't seem right. Something had to be wrong and I knew it. How could I be going through all this pain and somehow still be worried about Bella. We were never even close and after her birthday I distanced myself even further. I barley even knew the girl and now I was worried about her. Maybe it was because I knew what this would do to her . She had almost completely lost it the last time he left. So I knew this would crush her. Edward asked Alice to look for Bella's future to make sure she was with Jacob and she saw nothing.

Everyone seemed to be ok with the idea she was still with Jacob. But for some reason this didn't fit. Then I remembered her scent in the woods and headed for the back door. Once I was I found her scent. Which meant only one thing. She knew, she had somehow found the proof that I had been searching for. I knew the pain she was in and I took off to find her. No longer worried about why it was that I suddenly cared so much about her and just ran. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with this. So I knew it had to be worse for her. She was only human, how much pain would she be able to take. So I ran fallowing her scent. I ran and ran wondering how she had managed to get this far. The heavy rain was washing away her scent and I knew I had to find her soon.

**Authors notes**: I know this one is short and I am sorry. But the next one is long and will post it as soon as it comes back from my Beta. Once again thanks to everyone who has reviewed and for all the adds. I am still so surprised that so many people are fallowing this story it makes my day. I have about 11 chapters written and I know where the story is going. I hope you all enjoy. Once again thank you to everyone.


	4. Chapter 4

**DISCLAIMER I own nothing just like to play with them.**

Chapter **4**

**BPOV**

As I sat up against the tree my resolve shattered. Once the focus of keeping moving was gone the pain and the hurt hit me like a ton of bricks. I was broken and so shattered. I could barley even breath. My tears started to fall with the rain. For the first time since I started running my mind went through the events that had just happened. The sight of them together was burned into my mind. How could they do this to me? How could they do this to Jasper? We were supposed to be getting married. I was to be joining him in this life for eternity. If he hadn't wanted to be with me then why did he even come back and Alice how could she? She was my best friend and the sister I never had. Her and Jasper had been together for years and seemed so meant to be together. This was going to crush him.

As I sat there I couldn't help but wonder if this was the first time or had it been going on all along. Had they only been pretending to care about me. Had it all been an been another act they put on for the humans. Playing the part was second nature to all of them. With that a surge of hate went through me. I hated them both for this. Not only had they crushed my reason for existing but they had stolen my chance at the life that I knew I was meant to lead. There had never been a time in my life that I had felt so in place as I did when I was with the Cullen's. They were the family I had always wanted and now my chance of joining them was gone.

With that thought the pain escalated and I collapsed against the tree. Tears were still running down my face. Engulfed in a pain I knew I couldn't move past. The pain left an odd feeling of emptiness inside me. I knew it was because my heart, my soul and my future were shattered. Unable to stop it my mind started running through memories of Edward and I. With each image the pain spiked intensely causing me to squeeze my legs tighter to my chest. Trying to keep myself from ripping apart. The flashes of memories continued and there was one memory that offered a slight relief. The memory of Edward leaving me in the woods. In that moment I was brought back to the pain I felt then and it was a relief to the pain I felt now. I never thought I could get through that. I knew this time it would be the end of me.

The next memory was perfect and made me cry even harder. It was the face of Jacob, my Jacob, my best friend and my personal sun. I don't think even he could pick up my pieces this time, I wasn't just broken but crushed and there is no pieces to find. The thought of Jake brought me back to the present and I remembered what he had said " There is a blood sucker on our land". I wondered if he was ok because if anyone deserved to be happy it was him. I wondered if the Cullen's went to help the pack. Had anyone even realized I was gone.

Then a horrific thought came to mind. If they knew I was gone they would come looking for me and when they did who would find me. I couldn't handle if Edward or Alice found me like this. The thought of any of the Cullen's finding me like this would be awful. I didn't think I could explain what had happened to bring me here. I have the ability to talk let alone explain. Just then another thought occurred to me . What if whoever the wolves was looking for found me first. The thought of my own death did not scare me. In fact in my current state it was almost welcome. At this point it didn't the matter anyways because I was already dead on the inside. True death would be a relief and would free me from this pain. The rain really started come down now. Drenching me in the cold and the wet. I was so consumed in in pain that I hadn't noticed I was freezing until my teeth chattering was to loud to ignore. I wondered then if I would get my peace in death anyways. By now my body could no longer fight the exhaustion. It took over and my eyes closed. No matter how hard I fought I could not will them to reopen. So I finally gave in and slept.

**JAZ POV**

I continued to run and search for Bella. I knew if I got close enough I would be able to feel her emotions. So I kept going and then I realized how far I had come. I was at least ten miles into the forest and I wondered how she could have got this far. The rain had almost washed away her scent completely and I started to panic. So I started to search in a circle and move my way in. Hoping she hadn't gone any further. The longer I searched the more panicked I got. I was to the point of calling Carlisle for help. When I was suddenly hit with a wave of such intense pain that it almost brought me to my knees. The emotion only lasted a second and left me still searching for the source. I began to search franticly and started freaking out. When I was hit again with pain and hurt. This time it was so strong I was knocked to my knees. This time it lasted long enough for me to pin point where it was coming from. I got up slowly and moved in the direction I knew I would find Bella.

After a second she came into view. The sight I beheld broke my silent heart. There at the base of a large tree sat Bella's small, fragile and seemingly lifeless body. She was still alive I could hear her heartbeat faintly. I knew she was cold and would die if I didn't do something. But what would she do when she saw me? Did she hate us all because of him? It didn't matter because right now she needed me, deep down I think knew I needed her too. I approached her slowly. As I got close she stirred and opened her eyes. I froze not sure how to proceed. After she looked around, she sighed and closed her eyes again. As slow as possible I approached her and sending her waves of calm.

**BPOV**

I had no idea how long I had been asleep but at some point I awoke and looked around. Though it was too dark to see. I tried to focus and figure out what had awoken me. Within seconds I remembered what had happened to bring me here. The waves of pain flooded back over me and once again it took all my strength to hold myself together. Then there as a noise in the distance. I turned toward the sound of the noise to no avail. It was just too dark for my human eyesight. Though it didn't mattered because I no longer cared who or what it maybe. I closed my eyes and waited for whatever it was to find me. I seemed to wait forever. Then a strange calm came over me and I opened my eyes to the last person I expected to see. Even in the dark I couldn't mistake the beauty of a vampire. Surprised as I was, I was incredibly grateful that out of anyone it had been Jasper who found me.

**Authors Note. **SO here is the next Chapter. I posted it like I said I would. Thanks again for the add and review. Would love some more reviews so I know how you guys are liking it. I may not up date till next week cause I am going on vacation but I will try to get one more in before then. Its starting to get to the good stuff and once again let me know what you think and thank you all for reading. I am grateful for your interest in the stories that go on in my mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**DISCLAMER I own nothing  
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**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I couldn't find a way to say anything. All I could manage to was look up and weakly smile at my rescuer. Moments past and we remained still with our eyes locked. It was in these moments, I realized that we didn't need words, he could see my broken soul. I was so concentrated on his eyes, I hadn't noticed the look on his face. The pain I felt inside was shown all over his face. I had no way of knowing if it was my pain he felt or his own. Did he already know and come looking for me. Or had he simply come looking for me because I was gone. Part of me hoped he already knew. So I would have to give him the news that would inevitably destroy his world. Without a word he sat down next to me and took me in his arms. I couldn't help but fall into his stone cold embrace. It was in an embrace not unlike this that I had given my heart and soul too. It was in those cold arms that I had found my place in this world and I was willing to give my life to have it. It was then when I fell apart. Tears running down my face and was shaking uncontrollably. As the pain, the hurt and the anger engulfed me.

**JAZZ POV**

As I slowly approached her, I was more nervous than I had ever been in my whole existence. I had no clue what her reaction to me might be. A million different outcomes ran through my head,none of them were good. Why would she want to see me. I had almost killed her on her birthday and that inevitably cause the events that were happening now. I almost wanted to run away but nothing in the world could make me leave her now. Our pain had bound us together and at this point she was all I had left. So I took those last steps and stood in front of her. Willing to take whatever would come next.

After a few seconds she opened her eyes and stared at me. It was at that moment that I thought my silent heart was going to leap out of my chest. What she did next took me by complete surprise. She just looked up at me and smiled. No words were said but that was more than enough for me. After a while without even thinking I sat down and took her in my arms. Almost instantly she fell into my arms and started crying. At first I thought I had done something wrong but she didn't pull away. So I let her cry herself out. When she finally finished she was asleep.

It was then that I picked her up and ran to a place I knew of close by. For some reason I didn't think she would want to back to the house now. Once we reached the cave, I gentle laid her down and began building a fire. Once the fire was going good. I covered her with my jacket and ran to Port Angles to get some supplies. By the time I was on my way back the rain had stopped and the blankets and things I was carrying stayed dry. When I reached the cave I could tell the fire wasn't going to be enough. I knew I had to get her out of those wet clothes. Since my clothes were nearly dry now. I knew I need to take off her wet clothes and give her my dry ones. I undressed and walked over to her. My inner gentlemen was screaming no but I had no choice. I laid out a blanket and gently started to undress her. I then replacing her wet clothes with my dry ones. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but notice the soft curves of her body and wondered how I had not noticed before. Once I had rid her of her wet clothes. I covered her in the blankets and waited for her to warm up. As she slept I watched her for hours. Noticing many thing I never had . Like how truly beautiful she was. How perfect and soft looking her lips are or how her hair falls perfectly around her face. For the first time in my life I was in awe of someone but not just any someone but a human.

**BPOV**

I don't know when the exhaustion finally took over and I fell asleep. All I could remember was dreaming of standing outside the Cullens house once again witnessing Edward and Alice in their lustful exploit. But the dream didn't stop there. I remained on the porch listening to there conversation.

"Alice you are the most amazing person I have ever known. I never knew love like this was even possible. The last few months have been incredible. I only thought what I felt for Bella was true love. But she could never compare to you immortal or not. You are the true love of my existence" Edward said with such sincerity it made me sick.

" I know I feel the same way. How did we not envision how wonderful this would be. My true soul mate was right under my nose the whole time," Alice chimed.

" What are we going to do about Bella and Jasper my love," Edward asked?

" Well as far as Jasper is concerned, I have been distancing myself from him for a while now. I am just waiting for to slip up and kill someone. Then I will tell him I can't deal with it anymore and that he needs to leave,' Alice answered with a proud smile.

" Then there is Bella, She is still human so she wont be around long anyways. Hey maybe Jasper will take care of her for us and we will both be free. You know as well as I do that she cant make it out of this alive. She just knows too much," Alice added.

" I guess all that's left is timing then," Edward replied.

As I watched all this, all I could think was not only had this been going on for months but they were willing to kill me to free themselves. How could I have ever loved and trusted people like that. Then there was a noise and I woke up. As I forced my eyes to open I realized I was no longer in the forest but in a cave. In a cave with a fire and a half naked Jasper. In the light of the fire, I saw for the first time just how many scares Jasper truly had. Each small indentation reflected the light. I know most people saw his scars and feared him because of them. But as for me it was like I was seeing Jasper truly for the first time and it was nothing less than angle like perfection. His scars gave him character. It showed what kind of life he had and I knew how much he tried to change that. Which to me made him even more amazing and all that much more gorgeous. Then I remembered why I was here and my heart broke again. I looked around still confused. My clothes were hanging by the fire and how had I got here. Just where exactly was here anyways. I defiantly needed answers.

**Authors Notes I was just wondering how you think I should write in Edward and Alice. I haven't decided yet if they should be evil or you like them like they way they are in the dream or not. So I would love some suggestions. Also once again I would like to thank those who reviewed and added the story. I love to hear from you**. **I have a couple other chapters ready to go. So maybe if I can get some suggestions from you wonderful people. I will post a little sooner. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**BPOV**

As I lay there confused I instantly turned to see if I were too half naked. Jasper's jacket laid on top of two blankets covering me. I lifted the blankets to reveal I was wearing Jaspers clothes. I felt the blood rush to my face, I realized that Jasper had undressed me and had seen everything. How could I not have woken up.

" I am sorry but I was afraid you had hypothermia and I didn't know what else to do," Jasper said apologetically.

" Its ok, I am just….just…..lost I guess," I replied unsure.

" I understand, when your whole world falls apart its hard to comprehend anything," Jasper said with understanding and sadness.

"So you know then too," I said still unsure.

"Yeah I do," he replied.

"Why don't you sound surprised," I said a little taken back.

"Well to tell you the truth I have suspected it for a while now," Jasper replied sadly

**JAZZ POV**

I watched her for hours. Not understanding until then what had fascinated Edward some much about watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful and angelic. I wished then that I too could sleep and escape my reality. What I wouldn't give for a few hours of peace. Where the world melted away and dreams took there place. She slept restfully for many hours but then her emotions went haywire. Pain, betrayal, loss and sadness were at the for front. Then behind that were suddenly realization and regret. As I watched and felt the turn her dreams had taken. I was at a total loss as to what to do. I knew she was dreaming of them and what had happened. As much as I wanted to steal away her pain, I couldn't because I knew these were feelings she needed to work through. Maybe somehow doing this while she was unconscious was better for her. So I waited for the dream to subside. Eventually her emotions leveled out and she begun to sleep peacefully again. Relief flooded through me.

As I continued to watch her sleep the more entranced I became. Wondering just how Edward could leave her and cause so much pain. I couldn't believe that he hadn't realized just how much he truly had. The girl was head over heels for him. She was willing to put herself in consent danger just to be with him. She was willing to give up her whole life to be able to spend eternity with him. Hearts that pure are few and far between. Believe me, as an empathetic I know. She was more willing to give love, more fully and whole heartedly then anyone human or vampire, that I had come across in my whole existence. I guess, for Edward, that just wasn't enough. So he had to mess up everyone life. Bella's, mine and even the whole families. I know you don't choose who you fall in love with but they didn't have to lie. If they had been honest we could have worked through it. Yeah it would have still hurt but I would have understood. Their betrayal hurt the worst. Before my mind could any further down that road, I was hit with emotion first confusion mixed with a little fear. The next came awe and then embarrassment Then back to confusion and back to embarrassment . I look at Bella and realized she had noticed her change in clothing.

I explained to her about my fear of her having hypothermia and having to change her clothes. She was still so confused and unsure. I told that I knew about them too. This surprised her and she didn't like it too much when I told her I had suspected it . Especially that I hadn't told her. I knew, she deserved an explanation and I began telling her the story. How after we left forks, everything changed. Everyone was depressed. Edward was the worst, so depressed and distant. Alice was the only one he would even really talk to. It was as though they had shared a common bond because they missed her so much. They shared their pain with each other.

Over the months we were away they only got closer. How I felt so ashamed because I had caused all the pain everyone was going through and hid away. Spending a lot of my time alone hating myself. So Edward and Alice had all the time they wanted together. At first I didn't think much of it, because I hadn't really been there for Alice and she needed someone. Then Edward decided to leave to track Victoria. I figured then Alice and I could find ourselves again. How I still believe we could regain what we had lost for months. But things didn't change much. We spent our time together but we were to distant and depressed to reconnect.

I explained how I would catch her on the phone, with him, trying to hide. I blew it off at first, I figured they needed to talk to someone that understood. As time went on things began to change. I was trying to find my a way back to her but I just couldn't seem to reach her. It was then when I started to worry. Even then I wasn't sure if it was really happening or if I was just exaggerating. But before I could go any further Bella finally asked a question.

" If you suspected this why didn't you tell me. I would have liked a heads up," She asked with irritation coming off of her.

**BPOV**

As I listened to Jaspers story, things started making more sense. Even with a little understanding, it didn't lessen the pain and betrayal I felt. As Jasper told the story, I watched his emotions cross his face but it was his eyes that gave away the true pain he felt. Even if he was trying to hide the extent of the pain he felt his eyes gave it away. I knew he was just as broken and shattered as I was. Even though I was angry that he hadn't told me what he suspected. I just couldn't truly be upset with him. But I still wanted to know why he kept me in the dark.

"If you suspected this why didn't you tell me. I would have liked a heads up," I asked unable to keep the irritation out of my voice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**JAZZ POV**

When Bella finally asked why I hadn't told her what I had suspected. I already regretted not telling her but I had just wanted to be positive first. What if I had told her and it wasn't even true. So I had to wait until I knew for sure and I didn't until it was too late. I knew I had to explain why I had kept it from her. So I finished my story.

" I am sorry I didn't tell you but I thought after you and Alice saved Ed… him that things would change. You two were back together. I figured thing would just go back to normal. For a while things were getting better. Alice and I were getting close again. Not like we were before but I just figured it would take some time. Then about a month ago I noticed a change and it wasn't good. Alice was super clingy and more lovey than normal. Even through her act I could feel her pulling away. It worried me. I thought maybe she was just trying to reconnect but didn't know how. For a while nothing really seemed to change. So I let it go and started to relax. Thinking it would just take sometime. Then a few weeks ago She would hardly talk to me and the distance was back. That's when I finally decided that things weren't going to get any better. I was right they only got worse. That weekend when Alice was supposed to be babysitting you while Edward went hunting, you ran away to La Push. Then Edward came home early. After that they both had to go hunting, they went together. When they got home I knew instantly knew something was very wrong. Alice would only talk to me when she had to and she was faking her emotions. Worst of all was that our connection to each other was gone. There was nothing left between us and it broke my heart. I really didn't know what to do. I was so lost and empty. When I thought about telling you. I wasn't sure if it was just Alice and my relationship that was lost. I thought that maybe she just didn't love me anymore and they weren't really in love with each other. I wasn't about to try to ruin your relationship unless I was sure. I had been waiting for some type of proof. When I got it, I was going to tell you I promise. Hoping that in some way that, that might lessen the pain. By finding out before this whole thing blew up. Then yesterday they both left the hunt early and I knew it something was up. I thought, I might actually get the proof I had been searching for. So I came up with a plan that I thought would get around Alice. Knowing them, they probably thought they would never get caught. The mind reader and the psychic who could possibly surprise them. That's probably why you were the one that caught them. That's still something I don't completely understand how it happened or how you managed to block everyone either" I told her. She didn't wait and as soon as I paused in my story her questions begun.

"What do you mean I blocked everyone? All I did was run away" she asked a little confused.

**BPOV**

I sat there listening to Jasper continue his story. Paying full attention to every word. I wanted, no I needed to what had caused my world to be torn apart. I now understood why he waited to tell me. Even if I didn't like I understood. He wanted to know for sure before he turned my world into what his had become. Deep down I was grateful that he cared enough to my feelings first. I would have never of thought he cared about me and right now I was so grateful that someone did. Why he cared I wasn't sure. Its not like you could have ever considered us friends. We were never even around each other enough to even get to really know each other. Not that I didn't want to I just never got the chance. Ed….he would never allow it . " Its to dangerous" He would say. "Jasper is to unstable. He hasn't living this lifestyle long enough. His thirst is still to much for him to control" He would insist. Now that I think about it when I was with him I never got to do anything that was remotely dangerous. Why Jasper though he was his brother and he could read his mind anyways.

I guess he just wanted to be in control. He was always in control when he was around me. The way he kissed, the way he hugged me, the way he talked and just me. He completely controlled me and I never even noticed. I had been so blinded by him. How naïve could I be . I guess I can just add that to the reasons why I hate him. I watched Jasper tell the story and he didn't look uncomfortable around me now. He didn't seem to be fight his instincts not to kill me. He just looked normal well as normal as a vampire can be. I began to wonder if everything he ever told me about Jasper was a lie. From what I had learned about Jasper since we had been together showed me a whole different person than the one he described. The Jasper I saw was perceptive and caring.. He had come and found when no one else did. He had saved me from freezing to death. He hadn't even taken me back to the Cullens house and somehow I think he knew I couldn't go there right now. As he told the story he tried not to say the cheaters name and I was grateful. Most of all he answered his questions and he didn't sugar coat it. From what I was learning about him I liked him. Even though the story was heartbreaking it also made me feel a little happy, after all the heartbreak, because after all the pain I was gaining a friendship. I paid close attention to him as he told the story trying to find out more about him. When he told me about leaving the hunt early so he could find the proof so he could tell me warmed my heart. That fact that he cared right now meant a lot. Then he said something that brought me out of the bubble I was in.

"That's still something I still don't completely understand how it happened or how you managed to block every one either" She said with a look of wonder on his face.

It took me a second to comprehend what I had just heard and when I did I needed to know more.

"What do you mean blocked everyone all I did was run away" I asked confused.  
>He looked at me and smiled " I have a theory about that but let me finish my story first" he said.<p>

**Authors note** Once again thanks for the review and the add.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer I own nothing  
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** CHAPTER 8**

**JAZZ POV**

Even though I expected Bella question, I wasn't sure what exactly to tell her. Yea I had theories but what if I was wrong. Though I knew she needed to hear the end of my story to understand the conclusion I had come to.

"I have a theory about that but you have to let me finish my story first" I said to her.

" OK" she said disappointed.

" Thank you" I replied.

Bella rolled over and looked me straight in the eyes. Letting me know she was listening. When our eyes connected, I was surprised by the depth of her dark brown eyes. It was almost as though they were small windows into her soul. It wasn't only their depth that captivated me, but the way she looked at me. It was a though she was seeing me for the first time. Not just seeing me but seeing through me and into who I truly was inside. No one had ever looked at me like that. Not even Alice because even Alice saw the monster even if she hid it well. I still knew but it didn't matter because I loved her. Bella though she looked at me like she didn't see the horrible things in my past. Like some how she saw good in me and it warmed my frozen heart. After my moment of awe I remembered I was supposed to be finishing my story. She hadn't seemed to noticed my moment of thought, So I continued with my story.  
>"So after they left , I left in hopes of evading Alice's vision and surprising them. Sometime after I left so did Carlisle and Esme. I didn't know that they were on their way home too. I had just concentrated on evading Alice. So I wasn't running full speed and they beat me home. On the way I had come across your scent in the forest, before I could think about it, I came across Jacobs. Once I realized, Carlisle and Esme beat me home, I knew that my surprised was ruined . I decided to go in anyways and as soon as I opened the door I had my proof. The lust and satisfaction was thick in the air and I knew they had slept together. Even after I knew it was coming it still felt like my heart had been ripped out. It took all my strength not to fall apart. The realization that it was truly over almost destroyed me. I just walked to the back window and looked outside as the pain became almost to much for me to hide.<p>

Then Carlisle asked where you were and he said that you were still with Jacob. Though Esme thought it was too late for you to still be there. He called Jacob but no one answered. That's when I started to worry. Then he asked Alice to look for your future and she saw nothing. Everyone just assumed that it meant you were still with Jacob. For some reason though, I knew something was wrong. So I slipped out the back door and I found your scent again. I knew then that somehow you had seen. So I went after you. I knew that if it had hurt me this much . That you had to be in a lot of pain and that I had to find you. I took off following your scent. It was raining hard and I knew I had to find you before your scent washed away. I ran faster. As I got further into the forest I began to wonder how you had come this far. After about ten miles I started looking in circles knowing that if I got close enough I could feel your emotions. Though I just couldn't seem to be able to find you. At that point I began to wonder if something had happened to you and almost called Carlisle.

I had almost given up when out of no where I was hit with your pain. It was so strong that it took me by surprise but it didn't last long enough for me to pin point where it had come from. I began to search harder and still found nothing. Then I was hit by your pain again and it lasted long enough for me to find you. So that is how I found you . Then after you fell asleep I brought you here because I didn't think you would want to go home. Well At least not yet. All I knew is that I needed to get you warm. So I built a fire and once it was going good I took off to Port Angles to get some supplies. When I got back you were still freezing. I knew you needed out of your wet clothes. So I undressed you and gave you my clothes, Then you finally warmed up and fell into a deep sleep. For what has been about 18 hours now. So that brings us back to now" I said finally coming to the end.

**BPOV**

After Jasper finally finished his story, I didn't say anything. I just sat there going over all of it in my head. In that moment I never appreciated anyone's presents more in my life than Jaspers. Even after his whole world was destroyed he still thought of me. He had come after me when no one else had even realized that I was gone. Some how he found me and saved me in more ways than one. I would forever be grateful for the fact he was my hero. Some how, some way I would make it up to him. It was with that thought that I knew that I had to help him too. With that I turned to look at him. When our eyes finally met. We just stared unable to look away. It was like we were connected. Even if it was only through our shared heartache and pain. At this point we were the only ones who understood each other.

**Authors note Sorry this update took so long but I have had a lot of things going on. But my beta has five chapters. So I should have more updates soon. Once again thanks for the reviews and all the adds. I love that so many are fallowing this story. Thank you all so much.**


	9. Chapter 9

** Disclaimer I own nothing **

** Chapter 9**

**JAZZ POV**

I was surprised by Bella's silence after my story had been told. But what surprised me most was the way our eyes locked and we shared such a deep understanding with each other. I knew that I would go to the ends of the earth to help her through this pain. When our eye contact finally broke, I had a weird sensation of extreme exposure. Like for the first time I was an open book to someone else. AS much as it frightened me it was almost a relief to finally have someone understand me. It was Bella who finally ended the silence.

"Jasper" She asked quietly.  
>" Yes, Darlin" I said as my accent slipped out.<br>"How did you know I didn't want to go home" She asked.  
>" Well, first of all you ran away. So I figured you wanted to get away. I also thought of how I felt and the last thing I wanted to do was to go back. I just figured you needed time and space to figure things out too" I said truthfully.<br>" Oh, I guess that makes sense. Can I ask you something else" She asked sounding unsure.  
>" Sure Darlin, ask all the questions you want" I said<br>Bella smiled then and thought about her next question.  
>" Can I ask you one first" I asked.<br>" Yeah sure" She said.  
>" Do you want your clothes back" I asked still a little embarrassed.<br>" Oh yeah , I forgot " she said blushing.

As she got up and walked to her clothes in my oversized ones. I turned my back allowing her some privacy. I waited patiently for her to change. When she finished she said " OK I am done".  
>I turned around to see her back under the blanket and my clothes folded neatly on the ground.<br>" Do you mind if I get dressed too" I asked.  
>" No sure go ahead" She answered.<br>As I got up she turned away. I smiled then and dressed quickly and returned to my rock seat.

**BPOV**

I sat there in my makeshift bed finally back in my own clothing. Which I had managed to change without killing myself. Ten points for me. Once Jasperhad redressed he sat down waiting for my next question. I was so glad that he answered my questions. Without editing the parts he didn't think I should hear and he even said to ask all I wanted. That cheater never did that . He always avoided my questions and only answered the ones he wanted to. I hope Jasper realizes he just opened a can of worms.

" Why did you go all the way to Port Angles to get the blankets and stuff" I asked.  
>" I went there because I didn't want to leave a sent trail from Forks. It would make it easier for them to find us" He said.<br>" Do you not want them to find us? Do you not want to go back" I asked  
>" For the first part, no not yet. Do you want them to find us? He asked back.<br>I thought about it for a second " No " was my only reply.  
>" As for the second part. I am not sure" He said.<br>" Why not, They are still your family" I asked.  
>" Well truthfully I don't know now that Alice and I are done if they will still want me. She was the reason that we ended up with them. She fit in perfectly form the beginning but I have always felt like I was on the outside. It almost feels like Alice has taken the rest of the family with her. The Cullen's are the only real family I have had and I am worried that if I go back that they wont want me" Jasper said sounding ashamed.<p>

" Oh I never thought of it like that. But I don't think that they would turn their backs on you just like that. But I know how you feel" I said.  
>" What do you mean" Jasper asked confused.<br>" Well I have always wanted to become a true part of the family and now I feel like that's been stolen away too. So I feel like a whole life was taken from me not just a love" I answered sadly.

I wondered then if he would understand or if he would just think I was being a silly human.

" Believe me I understand that more than you know. Before I met Alice and the Cullen's. My life was not good. I only ever knew war and murder. When I found out there were other ways to live. I wanted,no I needed to find something better, something more. With the Cullen's I found that. For once in my life I felt love instead of pain. Even if it wasn't easy for me . I tried because I wanted it more than anything and it was where I was meant to be. With them it was the first time I was home and that gave me so many feeling that I can't even describe. Out of everything that is what scares me the most to no longer belong. I kind of thought you might feel the same way and I didn't want you to feel alone either" Jasper said with understanding and compassion

What Jasper made me realize was just how caring he really was. We understood each other like I never though possible.

" I understand how you feel too. All my life I have always felt out of place. Like I was lost and searching for something but I never knew what. Until I entered the world of fairy tales and magic. Even if I was only a weak human. It didn't matter because I was home. For once I finally fit in somewhere and now I have most likely lost my chance to truly belong to this world. I am so glad you found me to because I need you. More than you will probably ever know. More than I have ever needed anyone before" I said a little embarrassed.  
>" Don't be embarrassed Bella Because as much as I hate to admit it. I need you that much too" Jasper said a little unsure but relived.<p>

**Authors note** Hey sorry for the long wait but I am kind of having writers block. I do have more chapters done but I just don't want to post to many and then not give myself enough time to figure out the next step in the story. I know what going to happen but I just haven't figured out how to yet. If that even makes sense. Anyways thank you for the reviews. I always love them and the adds too you guys are great. It maybe a while for the next one though but I promise to at least one a week. Well until I figure a few thing out. Reviews with any suggestion are nice too thanks again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**JAZZ POV**

Never had I expected Bella to be the one that would truly understand me. Somehow we connected on a level that I didn't even know existed. She understood me in a way no one else ever had and it kind of scared me. It makes me feel exposed. For the first time someone could see me. Past all the walls that I had put up around myself. She had some how found her way through and was staring right at me, the real me. The only thing I knew is that there was no way to stop whatever it was we had started. We sat in the cave waiting for her next question. I watched her as she went through her mind tring to decide what to asked next. The feeling coming from her were of excitement and wonder. Though behind that there was still the pain and sadness. Somehow her questions were elevating some of the heartache she felt and for that I was grateful.

I had told her to ask whatever she wanted. I was very interested at what questions she might ask. I was even excited to hear what my answers to them would be. How much had Edward told her. So I waited wondering what was running through her head. I couldn't believe how much I anticipated her next question. It seemed like I had been waiting forever when she finally spoke.

" If we have been here for over 18 hours. How come no one has found us yet or do you not think they are even looking for us" She asked slowly. As if she wasn't sure if she wanted to hear the answer or not.

" Well, Yes I think they are looking for us and probably very worried. As to why they haven't found us. I am not positive but I do have a theory" I answered .

" Well then I would like to hear it" She said now interested.

" First of all I think the rain helped. Its been raining on and off since we got here. That and I think somehow when you ran away. When you ran you were in such pain and shock. You were all alone and deeply hurting. Well I think that your mind knew you needed protection and it gave you the only protection it could. Somehow using your shield to hide you. By stretching itself over you and blocking anything from getting to you. That's why I think Alice couldn't see you and I couldn't feel you. To tell you the truth I am not even sure I could see or smell you either. I search the area you were several time and found nothing. The only reason I found you was because I finally felt you and I only think that was because you were exhausted and I don't think you you had the energy to keep the shield up" I said awaiting her reaction.

"Well that explains why you couldn't find me but what about you" She asked

" That one I don't know and was wondering too. The only thing I could come up with is that maybe somehow your shielding me too." I said completely unsure.

**BPOV**

As Jasper told me why he thought no one had found us. I was blown away and not sure what to think. I mean was it even possible and what did that mean. I thought for a moment and then I had to ask.

" Do you really think I can do that now as a human. Is that even possible" I asked eagerly awaiting his answer.

" Its possible, I don't really even know. I have I never heard of such a thing. No. But that's the only explanation I have got my dear. All I know is that after I found you and you smiled at me. I have been able to feel you just fine. At first I thought you had just put your shield down but the longer we are here and undetected. It makes me think something has to be going on because if they are looking and I am sure they are. They should have found us by now" Jasper said.

" If some how some way I am doing what you think I am doing. How could I and not even know it. I didn't even know I could shield myself, let alone someone else. All I remember is the pain and then the exhaustion. In the end though I had given up. There wasn't any point is going on and then the next thing I knew I felt calm. When I opened my eyes you were there. I was so relieved and grateful it was you standing there. You were exactly who I needed and I never would have expected it. Maybe I knew you needed protection too and my shield just grew. Though I still cant believe that I can do that. I just don't see how. It doesn't make any sense" I said still unsure.

" Maybe it doesn't have to make sense. If it works it works right. If you are truly projecting that kind of shield and one that strong now as a human. As a vampire you would be extremely powerful" Jasper said with a wicked smile.

Wow could this all be true could I really be more than just ordinary. I just couldn't believe that but how awesome would that be. If I could really do that. Jasper and I could stay hidden for as long as we needed to fix ourselves. I know that right now that is what we needed more than anything was time. Time to figure out what we was going to do now. Would we ever want to go back and face what was left behind. Or maybe we could make a new life for ourselves. It so weird to think of Jasper and I as a we. So much has changed since yesterday. I still cant completely wrap my mind around it. Right now it really doesn't matter because yesterday I had given up and today I had hope. I had Jasper my shining star that would lead me back to where I belong, back to home.

**Authors Notes **Thanks to everyone for there suggestions. I appreciate it so much. Also once again thanks for the adds and reviews. I am starting to figure thing out now. Thank you all for reading hope you enjoy this chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

** Disclaimer I own nothing **

** Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

Who could have ever of thought Jasper and I would just click. It was like I had know him forever. We spent the next few hours planning our next move. We both knew we couldn't go home. At least not yet anyways. But where else were we going to go. That we hadn't decided. So after some talking we decided that since there was a big storm coming off the ocean. It would be overcast over most of the western united states. That we would head into the mountains and stay there until we figured something out. We knew we couldn't stay gone forever. Even if I was truly blocking everyone's powers and some how hiding us. Someone would eventually find us. We were going to head to a place that Jasper knew of and we started packing. Everything fit into a large hiking backpack that Jasper insisted on carrying. While I rode like a backpack. When we were ready I climbed onto Jaspers back and we were off. Flying through the trees.

Knowing that we needed to get out of the immediate area as quickly as possible. I kept my eyes closed for a long time. To keep from getting sick. After a while I realized that I wasn't getting queasy as I usually did. Running with Jasper was different than it was with him. I could tell that Jasper enjoyed it . The speed wasn't quite so fast but the excitement was still there. Though he didn't get the exhilaration from it as his brother did. I found that I like running with Jasper better. Maybe it was because we weren't running from real danger and he wasn't trying to show off. We were running for relief. Relief from the pain and the heartache. The further away we got it was like the weight of the world was lifting off my shoulders. We were leaving our cares and problems behind. Moving on to something different , something better. Just a few days ago I thought my world was over and here I am now moving on in a whole new way. Jasper truly was my hero.

**JAZZ POV**

Bella and I had been running for hours . We weren't even talking. Each of us completely wrapped up in our own minds. Trying to make sense of the situation, we now found ourselves in. Since she first woke up we hadn't talked that much more about what had happened. We just tried to focus on our next step and what that might be. Keeping our minds off the heartache we both felt. I knew it was wishful thinking that by ignoring it, that it would somehow just go away. At some point we were going to have to deal with it. I knew the time would come all to soon. So for right now I was just living in the moment. Leaving the past where it was. Moving toward the future.

**BPOV**

I was brought out of my own thoughts by the sounds of splashing water. It was then when I realized we had slowed down. There was only a slight breeze on my face. So I slowly opened my eyes. It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the light and when they did the sight I beheld was beautiful. We were walking through the middle of a large river. There was forest on either side of us. There were tall pines and aspens going up the sides of glorious mountains. I felt as though I was standing in the middle of the most beautiful landscape painting ever made.

" Where are we?" I asked.  
>"Deep in the Rocky Mountains" Jasper replied.<br>" Its amazing" I said.  
>" Yeah I know I used to come here a lot before I met Alice" Jasper said.<p>

Once again we settled into a comfortable silence. I looked around taking in all the sights. It was just so beautiful. In such a different way than the forests back in Forks. There was just as many trees but here there was no extra green covering everything up. So you could see the towering trees true beauty. There was the brown of the ground, the dark colors of the rocks and wild flowers everywhere. Adding in the own splash of color to everything. I had been so taken in by my surroundings, that I had forgot that we were walking in a river and a big one at that. Jasper was about waist deep and my feet were barley above the currents of the water. From my perch on his back. I began to wonder what exactly he was up to.

"Jasper" I said.  
>" Yeah" he replied.<br>" Why are we trudging through the middle of a river . In the middle of nowhere" I asked in wonderment.  
>"It will help to cover our scents. It wont completely hide them but they wont last as long. As if we were walking on the ground. So unless someone is right behind us tracking us. The scent will be gone before someone can come across it" Jasper said a matter a factly.<p>

**JAZZ POV**

I was so glad that Bella found the moutains enjoyable. She seemed so taken back by all of it. We mostly traveled in silence. Which was fine with me. I think we both needed our time to sort things out. I had only begun to figure out what I was going to do with my life now. I had never truly had the freedom that I had now. Since I had been changed I have always been answering to someone. In the beginning it was Maria. Even after I had left her and went with Peter and Charlotte I was lost. So I went searching for something better, something more. Then Alice found me and even though she showed me the kind of life I wanted to live. I was still under her rule or guidance she would say. But never had I had the chance to truly be me. Now though I had that chance and I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I didn't get far into that thought. When Bella asked why we were walking in the river. So I explained that it was to cover our scent. Then once again we fell into silence. Then a few moments later. She had more questions.

" Do you think they are searching for us? Now that they know we are gone" she asked.  
>" Yeah I do at least for now anyways" I answered.<br>" Why do you say that? Do you think they will stop looking?" she asked with surprise in her voice.  
>" Well I think they will search for us for a while. But you've got to remember that I don't think Alice can see us anymore. So I think that eventually they will think we are dead" I said not real sure how she would take it.<br>" Oh I didn't think of that" she said.  
>" Are we almost to where we are going yet?" she asked.<br>" Yeah about another hour or so" I replied.

Our conversation ended there. Once again leaving us to ourselves and our own thoughts to sort things out.

**Authors note Sorry this one took so long I had alot of things going on. then the d button on my computer quit on me so now I have to copy and paste it. so I am a little slower at typing. But I will try to update more often. Once again thanks to you guys who read and review. It means a lot.**


	12. Chapter 12

**disclaimer I own nothing  
><strong>

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV**

I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. The next thing I knew he was calling my name. I must have fallen asleep. I lifted my head and looked around. We were standing in front of a waterfall. It was gorgeous. Though it wasn't a huge waterfall. Only about 20 to 25 foot high. There wasn't lots of water rushing over the edge like you always see in pictures. It was just slow and cascading around the sharp rocks that were sticking through the surface. Separating the flow of water making several little waterfalls. Only to become one again a few feet before the surface of the small pool beneath it and then running down the river. I loved the way it wasn't rushed but graceful and content. I could watch it forever and simply be at peace. I was pulled from my trance by Jasper.

" Do you like it" Jasper asked.

" Like it, No I love it. Its so peaceful. Its just so perfect "I said.

" You haven't even seen the best part yet" he said with a smile.

"Really" I asked completely surprised. How could this get any better.

**JAZZ POV**

The look on her face was priceless when she saw the waterfall. She smiled, truly smiled for the first time since we had been together and for some reason that made me smile too. It was then that I decided that from now on I would do whatever it took to make smile. To be able to give her some kind of joy after everything that had happened made my heart happy. For the first time in my existence I wanted to do something for someone. Not just to gain favor or because it was expected of me. I wanted to do it because I wanted to. That realization was almost life changing because I knew I was free. Free to do whatever I choose and the feeling was elating. If it felt like this every time I would gladly make her smile forever.

When I asked if she liked it she answered with joy on her face. So I decided not to wait. " You haven't even seen the best part yet" I said. Her smile grew as did her eyes. "Really" was all she said. Then I lead her around the side of the waterfall. As we reached it we slipped through the small opening on the side. Once we were behind the water, we entered a small cavern. But we didn't stop there and we kept walking. Through a smaller tunnel. Just big enough for us both to fit through. After a short while the tunnel opened up into a large cavern. It was bout 50 foot across and 60 foot high. There were a few place where the ceiling broke through to the surface. Letting in small rays of light. Through the middle a small windings stream with small wispy steam rising from the surface.

" it's a hot spring" I said.

The mountain is a dormant volcano and the lava heats the water" I added.

" Wow that's amazing : she said smiling brightly once again. She was making my day and didn't even know it.

I figured it would keep you warm without having to have a fire. Its also only about 75 miles to town. So I ca easily run in and get food and things" I said.

I didn't take my eyes off of her. I just couldn't believe that after everything we could still be this happy. Especially over something so small. I was beginning to realize things were better this way. Then Bella looked at me and said " thank you so much". I don't know what I would do without you. I know she didn't realize But with her compassion and gratefulness she was slowly breaking away the chains that had been holding me down for so long. Somewhere deep down I think I knew that she was slowly stealing my heart too.

**BPOV**

The cavern was amazing, even more than amazing and I didn't even know what that was. I just couldn't stop smiling. It felt so right and so foreign to me at the same time. When I looked up Jasper he was smiling too. His smile was sincere but I could still see the pain in his eyes. That made my heart hurt. I knew his pain was greater than mine. But still I understood the hurt and pain. I knew that somehow someway I would help fix his broken pieces. So he wouldn't feel that pain any longer. He must have felt my emotions because he quickly looked away. I had completely forgot that he felt what I felt. That was going to take some getting used to.

I walked around exploring what would be our home for who knows how long. I found a spot and laid out my blankets. I watched Jasper as he walked around looking at everything. There was a distant look in his eyes and I could only imagine where his memories had taken him. I realized then that I had never noticed how gorgeous he was. The way his beautiful blonde curls fell around his face. How his shirt was tight in all the right places. To show off the muscle he had hidden beneath. He wasn't the sculpture of a Greek god like Edward was. But still unnaturally beautiful and in his own way. It was then I remembered he felt what I felt and quickly changed my thought pattern.

I began to wonder what we would do to pass the time here. I wasn't any good at hiking. Hiking meant falling and falling meant blood and I knew that wouldn't be good. I hadn't thought about that until now. Was it hard for him to be around me. I hadn't even noticed if he was uncomfortable around me. I couldn't help but wonder if my presence was torturing him. The thought made my heart sink. Would he leave me too. The possibility that he might leave me sent unbelievable pain through me. My eyes threatened to betray me with tears. I knew that alone I would never make it. The realization brought on the tears and I couldn't stop them.

The next thing I knew I was laying on my makeshift bed crying my eyes out. It was then that I felt two cold arms wrap around me. Without hesitation I curled into his embrace and cried into his chest. He rocked me and tried to calm me with his gift. Soon the tears slowed and then disappeared all together. He still held me and I realized the comfort of his embrace. I was safe there nothing could touch me. We stayed that way for a while but it wasn't long enough. All to soon he grabbed my shoulders and pushed me gently away. To look me in the eyes. In his eyes I saw such pain and compassion. Whether it was my pain or his own I did not know. I was lost in the depth of his eyes. Like I could see all the way to his soul and to who he really was. There was a connection there but I didn't know what it was. Maybe it was our pain that was our connecting trait. Whatever it was it was there and only getting stronger.

**Authors Note **Sorry I haven't been able to update. I will try to do better but myself and my Beta have had a lot going on. As far as that goes this chapter has not been reveiwed by my beta but I had time so I am up loading it anyways. Sorry if there are mistakes but I figured it had been so long since I up dated that you wouldnt care. Well hope you enjoy it and as always than;s for reviews and for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

**disclaimer I own nothing  
><strong>

** Chapter 13**

**JAZZ POV**

**** As I held in my arms willing her pain away. I didn't completely understand their meaning. At first she was sitting on the little bed and the only things coming from her realization and sight amazement. Both of which I understood. Then her emotions quickly changed to boredom, then to worry. I was so confused. Then just as quickly her emotions changed to sadness and then was quickly replaced by fear. The fear coming from her only grew. Soon enough it was mixed with unbearable sadness. When I turned to look at her she was shaking so hard and crying her eyes out. Without really understanding why I took her in my arms.

Once she stopped crying we laid there together. The situation was so odd and yet so normal that it scared me. After a while I could take it anymore and I pushed her away until I could see her face. When our eyes met I could see the pain in her big brown eyes and that broke my heart. I looked away and said the only thing I could think of.

" I am sorry" I said.

"For what" She asked.

" For the pain" I replied.

" But its not you fault" She said.

" It just kills me to see you hurt like that because of him" I said honestly.

" Oh " She said the embarrassment radiating off of her.

She looked away to hide her face. That I knew was bright red.

" That… That wasn't because of him" She said.

There was a long silence.

" I don't understand " I finally said

She hesitated like she didn't how to continue.

"Tell me maybe I can help" I said.

" Well… I just started thinking that maybe being around me was hard for you. I just thought that it might become to much for you and you might leave me too" she said quietly.  
>" You were crying because of me" I said shocked.<br>As the whole world started spinning. It felt like I was loosing everything all over again. I would never leave her. I truly don't think I could.

**BPOV**

The look in Jaspers eyes when I told him why I was crying was heartbreaking. Then before I could stop it my mouth opened and my heart came out.

" I just need you so much. I just don't think I can do it without you. You saved me when there was nothing left to save. I thought that there was no way I could live through what and I had given up. The I opened my eyes and you were there and somehow that gave me hope. The thought of you leaving me scares me to death" I said and was I instantly ashamed that I had told him the truth. There was along silence and then pulled me into his arms and ran his fingers through my hair.

" don't be ashamed of how you because I understand" He said.

" And first of all don't worry about me leaving you because I wont. Not unless you ask me too. I have been lost for along time. When everything started going wrong. I felt so lost and alone. Never in my existence had I ever felt so alone. Not even in the time that I was with Maria. Even then I had a purpose. But without Alice I had no purpose. I had nothing but when I found you that night. I knew I would do anything to fix you. So I could see you smile again. So you can see that even though I hate to admitted it I need as much as you need me. As for my thirst it is no longer a problem. I have grown stronger in my time with you. My desire to help you is stronger that anything else. Even right now with you like this I have no desire to taste you blood" He said with so much sincerity and compassion. That it brought tears to my eyes.  
>Whether it was his words or his arms I don't know but in that moment I was at peace. I could have stayed like that forever. But once again it ended too soon.<p>

" I should probably head to town and get some supplies. I've got to fee the human" He said laughingly.

" If I go now I will be back before dark and I can hunt on the way" He added.

" How long will it take you" I asked a little unsure.

"Just a few hours I will be back long before the sun goes down. I will be as quick as possible" He said.

" Ok was all I could say.  
>Jasper walked to the other end of the cavern and moved a large flat rock. He pulled out what appeared to be a very old duffle bag. Out of the bag he pulled out a couple of old books and handed them to me. I turned them over in my hands. There were both about the civil war.<p>

"I know that they are probably not your type of books but they will help you pass the time" He said sadly.

"You don't be scared no one will find you here. I can even move a rock in front of the entrance if you want" He said

"Ok" was all I could say. Even though I knew it was necessary it didn't make me feel any better.

" Please hurry" I said.

" I will be back before you can even miss me" He said as he walked out of the cavern.

I heard him slide the rock across the opening and I knew he was gone. The comfort of hi presence was gone. It was a eerie feeling.

**Authors notes Sorry its been so long but hope you enjoy it.**

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	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**JAZZ POV**

I saw the fear in her eyes when I said that I was going into town but I had to go. I could very well let her starve and I needed to hunt too. This was the first time that I had left her since she woke up. It was weird how dependent we had become on one another. Especially in such a short time. As I left the cavern. I closed the entrance and ran. I had promised to be quick. I decided to hunt on whatever I came across. I was in luck about 20 miles out I came across a herd of deer. They weren't my favorite but they would do. I took down two and drained them quickly. Then I was back to running. I didn't want to leave her alone any longer than necessary. It was nice to have someone waiting for me. To have someone who needed me. That was another first for me but it was more than that because I needed her too.

The more I thought about Alice and I. The more I realized how things between us never did fit. Things between us were never as perfect as it had once seemed. More than anything I think I had just always been so thankful that she had saved me. That I never questioned her or her motives. The more I thought about it the more I realized how truly blind I had been.

**BPOV**

After I watched Jasper leave. I was left alone to deal with my emotions without his comforting influence. An odd feeling of dread and fear filled me. I tried not to think about it. In fear that I would break down again. I stared around the cavern for a while. One I finally calmed down a little bit . I started to look through the books he had left me. But my mind would sit still enough to read them. It kept jumping from one thing to another. Trying to figure out just where things had gone wrong. At first I thought of Edward and what I had done to deserve this. All I had ever done was love him. But I guess in the end I was just not enough for him I guess. My worst fears had come true.

Whatever it was that I was lacking he had obviously found in Alice their betrayal hurt worse every time I thought about it. A single tear slid down my face and I decided think of something else. The only other thing on my mind was Jasper. It was still unreal to me that we were here together. Helping each other mend the broken pieces of what was left of our worlds. Being whatever each other needed to be able to get through this. I though back to earlier when he said that he needed me too. My heart swelled at the thought. He needed me and for once I could really help. Instead of me always being the one that needed help. For once I wasn't the only one that was vulnerable and scared.

This time I wasn't alone and all we needed was each other. Someone understood my pain, my loss and my heart. Somehow through that common connection we had become very close. Even in just the short time that we have spent together. Jasper was so much more than I could have ever imagined. Before I had always thought of him as distant and aloof. I had never seen him interested in anything but Alice. But then I guess I never really got the chance to see him for anymore than that. Edward would have never allowed that to happen because that might be dangerous. But the Jasper that I had come to know wasn't dangerous. He was so caring and compassionate. How could Edward not have know that. He was his brother after all. But maybe that was the reason he had never allowed us to get know each other.

I guess in the end that's what I get for always doing what Edward wanted. I had never really thought about it before but Edward ran my life. But until now I never thought of it that way until now. I guess love really is blind. O well because that's all over now and now strangely it is Jasper and I. I though about how odd that was. Odd defiantly but all the same somehow perfect at the same time. Jaspers face filled my mind. His perfectly sculptured face and his amazingly deep eyes. Eyes that I could loose myself in forever. How adorable he looked when his perfect blonde curls fell into his face. The desire to brush them away and run my fingers through his hair was strong. The way the muscles in his chest show through his shirt. Just a glimpse of what lay beneath.

Then there was the way I felt when he held me today. Was something that I had never felt before. Not even with Edward. I felt so at peace and completely protected. Ike he would stop the world. If it had somehow wished to do me harm. Then my mind wondered what it would be like to feel his lips against mine. My hands tangled in his hair. Puling him ever closer to me. In an instant I snapped out of it and wondered where the hell that had come from. I must be loosing my mind. I couldn't think of Jasper like that because even if I did he would never feel the same. I decided that my was wondering way to far and to things that I didn't even understand.

So I picked up one of the books he had left and started paging through it. Trying to will myself to read it. For a long time I read but couldn't tell you what about. I was about half way through when I finally started to absorb the content. Strategies, where battles were fought and by whom. I had so absorbed in making myself pay attention to the book. That when I heard the stone scrape against the doorway. I jumped and screamed. Only to be completely relived that Jasper had returned. That I had to fight the urge to go flying into his arms and let my lips welcome him back. Wow I really need to get a handle on myself before I gave Jasper the wrong impression and make him think that I had completely lost it.

**Authors note**** This chapter has not been proofread so if there is mistakes I am sorry. Well anyways enjoy**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**JAZZ POV**

As I ran to town I let my mind wonder and let it try to sort itself out. I had been realizing so much lately. For the first time I was starting to understand myself. Starting to understand what it was that I had been missing. Even as I was beginning to unravel myself. I was still at a loss of understanding. I know that Alice had found me because she knew I was looking for her. Though maybe I wasn't really looking for her but for the life she would lead me to. I mean if I had been truly looking for her because she was my true mate. Then how could thing have ended up like this. Nothing what like I had once thought it was. I had only thought I was happy because Alice had lead me to believe that I was happy. But now I see I wasn't truly happy because I had never been allowed to be me. I was only allowed to be what she wanted me to be.

She had been changing me from the moment that we met and until recently I thought it was to help me. She had made me believe that I had to change who I was to be able to live the life I wanted. I think that's the reason I had such a hard time conforming to the vegetarian life because instead of just fighting my thirst. I was constantly fighting myself. Always scared to be me because I couldn't be me and live the life I wanted. So I had systematically shoved true self deep inside and did what Alice had wanted. Which I think in turn just made lost and unpredictable because since I had started being myself I havent had any trouble with my control.

It was as though with each new piece of myself I discovered that I had lost. The easier it was to control myself. Its such a relieving thing to let my true self out. It was like I had been so bottled up inside. That I was going to explode at any moment but I was slowly relieving the pressure. The best part of it all was that Bella sees the real me and seems to be liking it. She gives me the space to be me or the space for me to find me again. I know that she has no clue just how much she is truly helping me. I wonder if she has even noticed the change. Probably not because she never really knew me before. I think that makes this whole thing easier. She see me for what I am becoming and not for who I was groomed to be.

She gives a reason to show the true me the old me. She appreciates all the little things. She takes notice of the things that most people overlook and are most of the time the most important things. She makes me want to be all the things that I once was. While Alice had been my prison Bella was my freedom. With that thought I took off towards town to get the things we needed. So I could get back to the girl who was slowly becoming my life.

On my way back I couldn't believe the way I felt about seeing her again. It made me smile. Though at the same time it scared the hell out of me. How could I have so many feelings for her in such a short time. Like there was ever anyway she could ever have feelings for me. I felt her worry before I reached the waterfall. I set down the many things I was carrying and moved the stone on the entrance. At the sound of the stone sliding I felt her fear but it was quickly replaced by relief. As I entered the cavern she smiled and it made me smile as always. I set down the bags and handed Bella the ones that contained the things I had bought for her. Hoping that my choice were alright.

**BPOV**

I had no idea where these thoughts of Jasper were coming from. There is no way I should be fantasizing about kissing him. Maybe I am loosing my mind because of stress or something. Though I was so relived by his return all other thoughts ceased. I couldn't believe the amount of bags he carried. Vampire strength sure came in handy sometimes. All the things he carried with little effort and sat them down as if they were nothing. He turned to me and smiled.

"did you miss me" he asked.

Little did how much I really did miss him.

" From the moment you walked out the door" I said. Trying to sound sarcastic and I think it worked because he laughed. Just the sound of his laugh warmed my heart. There was something new in his eyes. It was almost as though they were brighter somehow. Like life had come back to him. That made me happy Because it showed me that somehow I was helping him too. He began to go through the things he had bought. Several bags were filled with food. Nothing special just canned stuff mostly. So it wouldn't go bad. Then there was some books. Most of them I didn't know and then I can across Withering Heights. I couldn't help but smile.

" Remembered you liked that one" He said smiling back.

" Thank you" I said . As the blood ran to my face. I ducked my head to hide my traitorous face. What the hell was going on. There is no way that I should be acting like I have feeling for Jasper. Because ther is no way that I could be falling for him . Especially not now. While I was lost in my own crazy mind, Jasper continued to go through the bags he brought and handed me a few bags.

" I got these for you. I think they should fit" He said sounding a little embarrassed, I took the bags and started looking through them. A little excited and nervous to see what he had brought. The first bag had some shirts of different colors and five or six pairs of jeans. Remarkably they were all the right size. The last bag scared the crap out of me. Right on the top was a dark blue bikini. Under that there was a few packs of underwear and three bras. Amazingly these too were the right size. I looked at Jasper with the question in my eyes and that was all it took.

" I just kinda guessed at the sizes" He said still embarrassed.

" I just figured you might want something to change into. I also thought that you might want to play in the water and clean up" He said still smiling.

" Oh yeah" He said . Handing me my favorite strawberry shampoo.

Once again causing me to smile and blush.

" Well that sounds great. I would love to be clean again" I said.

" I will give you some privacy. I will meet you outside by the pool" He said and the walked out of the cave.

**JAZZPOV**

I was completely surprised at the emotions I felt coming off of Bella. When I gave her the thing I had bought for her. The happiness and gratitude that it brought her made me smile. Really smile for the first time in a how long. A longer time then I can even remember. They were just simple things but to her they meant a lot. Alice had never been that way, No matter how expensive the gift was. Or how much time or thought I had put into it. It just never was enough for her. She just liked to pick out her own things. I had spent a lot if my time on the way to town thinking about Alice and I. The more I thought about it . The more I begun to realize that we never really did fit together. Not the way we should have. But I guess until recently I had been so grateful that she had saved me from my former life to really question anything. I would have probably spent the rest of my existence that way. If she hadn't shown me who she really was and giving me a reason to rethink everything. I couldn't believe just how truly blind I was. She had me so completely lost that it scares me. How could I have lost so much of myself and not realize it. But none of that matters now because that is no longer my life. With that thought I striped down to my boxers and got in the water. I enjoyed the coolness of the water why I waited for Bella to make her appearance. I didn't have to wait long and I heard her footsteps coming from the cave.

**Authors note**** Sorry that it took so long but I have had a lot going on. This hasn't been proofread so sorry for any mistakes. Thank you to all of you who have stuck with this story. I hope to have thing sorted out by the end of the month and more time for this. I have no intention of forgetting this story. It haven't had time. Well anyways ope you enjoy it. Thanks again for the adds and reviews. You guys are awesome.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**JazzPOV**

I turned to Bella approaching footsteps and watched her carefully walk out of the cave. She walked slowly and shyly to the edge of the pool. When she finally came to a stop at the edge of the pool. Embarrassment radiating off of her fallowed by massive amounts of nervousness. When she finally looked down at me and our eyes met. She immediately blushed and looked away. All that I noticed was how beautiful she looked when her blood flowed to her face. It gave just the right amount of color. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and a few strands of hair had escaped. The loose strands hung slightly in her face and it framed her face perfectly. She filled out the bikini nicely. There was defiantly more to her body than she showed. She was always covering it up with her baggy clothes. For some reason she never liked to show off what she has. But however on the bikini she looked amazing.

She finally lowered herself into the water. I turned away so she could have some privacy. The southern gentlemen in was coming out in me. Soon my nose was filled with the sent of strawberries. I closed my eyes and smiled. Imagining what she looked like with her hair wet and soapy. Washing herself as even more bubbles ran down her body. With the sun glistening off her wet skin. Then I snapped out of it . I cant be fantasizing about her like that. What the hell is wrong with me. Just a few days ago we were both completely in love with other people and living a whole different life. Thought somehow the few short days seemed like a lifetime. Almost as though that life was just a dream. There was something major going on inside of me. Things that I was just beginning to understand. Maybe its because of the changes that had begun happening within myself and they were all because of her. Somehow she was changing me on a level I have never know before. Even though it scared me. I couldn't help but feel like I was finally becoming myself again.

**BPOV**

After Jasper left the cave. I looked hesitantly at the bikini. But the embarrassment I felt was overrode by my deep longing to be clean. But why dose it have to be a bikini. Never in my life have I worn one. I just don't have the body to be able to pull it off. Though right now my options were limited. It was either the bikini or naked. So the bikini was defiantly the lesser of the two evils. So reluctantly I put the bikini on and was surprised at how well it fit. Jasper was good at shopping. But I guess being with Alice would do that to you. I hated thinking about Edward and Alice but I couldn't help it they were everywhere. They were in my thoughts, my memories and knew that no mattermuch I wanted to. I couldn't just erase them from my past. It was beginning to be to big a hassle and it just isn't worth it anymore. So I did then next best thing and decided not to care anymore. With my with my new resolution in mind. I grabbed my bath stuff and walked outside.

As I stepped out from behind the waterfall and carefully made my way around the edge of the pool. Trying with everything had not to trip and make this anymore awkward than it already was. I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. This was probably the most awkward situation of my whole life. Once I was positive that I was on steady ground. I looked down and there was Jasper in all his glory. The sunlight sparkling off his beautiful wet skin. Sending little rainbow sparkles all over his muscular body. His blonde curls wet and dripping. For a moment I thought my heart was going to stop. But after a brief pause it started hammering in my chest once again. I had to remind myself to breath because all I could think about was running my hands over his perfect wet body. Before my mind went any further down that path I stopped myself. Hopping Jasper hadn't caught on to where my emotions were headed. I blushed and quickly turned away.

When I finally looked up Jasper had his back to me. At first this kind of made me sad but then I realized it was probably just to give me privacy. So I lowered myself into the water. Then wet my hair and started lathering in the shampoo. The familiar smell comforted me. Helping to erase some of the stress and pain away. I began to wash myself quickly relishing in the way it felt to be clean again. Once I figured that I was as clean as I was going to get. I began to just enjoy the coolness of the water. Soon enough Jasper was at my side. I smiled at him and then splashed water at him. As I was laughing he retaliated with his own splash and laughed. We splashed and laughed for a long time. The rush that laughing gave me was wonderful. It seemed like I hadn't laughed that way in forever. As the laughing and slashing intensified Jasper disappeared. I knew I was in trouble then. I looked around waiting for him to stick. I couldn't see him in the water anywhere. Then out of no where he was right in front of me. He grabbed me and started spinning. I screamed and then laughed as we spun.

When he finally dropped me back in the water. As soon as my feet hit the bottom. I hit a slippery rock and tripped. But before I went under Jaspers cold arms caught me. Pulling me right against his chest. The sensation that went through me when his clod skin can in contact with mine. Was absolutely indescribable. Almost like a cold fire everywhere we touched. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Slowly I looked up until our eyes met. At the moment that our eyes connected the rest of the world disappeared. His eyes were so gold and deep after he hunted. Neither of us said anything. We were so close that I could smell his sweet breath. There was the smell of pouring rain, pine needles and a third smell I couldn't place. All that was going through my mind was that we were so close. That all it would take is me rising to my toes and our lips would meet. The thought left me breathless. There was urges going through my body that I couldn't control and then with out conscious thought. My hands were slowly sliding up his chest. Taking in every curve and every contour of this body. My hands kept going and slid around his neck. At the same time his arms tightened around my waist. Almost closing the gap between us. My heart was beating so fast I thought it might burst.

**JAZZPOV**

Bella and I had so much fun messing around in the water. I cant even remember a time when I laughed so much. It truly lifted me spirit to laugh like that. As the splashing got more intense. I ducked under the water. I swam around her waiting for the right time to strike. As she looked around for me I saw my opening. I sprang up in front of her and grabbed her. She screamed and I began to spin her. We laughed and laughed some more. When I finally set her down. She tripped and I instinctually caught her and pulled her close. The moment that our skin collided a sensations of incredible warmth spread through my body. A feeling that I hadn't experienced in longer then I cared to admit. Her body felt so soft and wonderful. That I didn't let go even though I knew I should. Holding her so close felt so oddly right. In a way that I didn't understand. After about thirty seconds she finally looked up at me. At the moment that our eyed connected there was nothing but her and the those big brown eyes. I couldn't move and I couldn't talk. All I could do was stare.

Then before I knew what was going on her hands were sliding up my chest. Leaving behind a trail of fire and electricity in there wake. She didn't stop there but continued until her arms were around my neck. Without even a second thought I pulled her closer. Loving every inch of her body. Her face was so close that I could feel the heat of her breath and feel the blood running through her veins. But it didn't tempt my hunger. At least not that kind but that was replaced by a hunger and desire so much stronger. It was almost driving me mad. There was so many things inside me screaming to close the distance between us. But even as much as I wanted too. I knew that it couldn't be like this. Our wounds were still to new. I didn't want what was happening between us . To happen for the wrong reasons. So reluctantly I stepped back and kissed her forehead . Then I held her tight. Stroking her hair and getting lost in her sweet strawberry sent. I couldn't get over how right she felt in my arms. I Kissed the top of her head.

Then I whispered softly " As much as I want this too. It wouldn't be right. Right now it would be for all the wrong reasons."

I knew that I had to let her go now. When I did I felt her sadness. But with the sadness there was understanding. Why did thing have to be so complicated.

**BPOV**

When Jasper pulled away. I thought my heart would break but the he kissed my forehead and sent shocks all the way to my toes. I had to catch my breath. He didn't let me go which made it easier. Though I still wanted to cry. Then he said it was the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. Even though I knew he was right it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

**Authors note** Sorry it took so long to update. But I am in the middle of moving. I should be moved in a couple of days and once I get settled in I hope to update more often. I was scared for a min because I lost the notebook with the story in it. I found it today. Which is why I am updating. Hope you all like this chapter and for those of you who have been wondering. The POV of everyone else are coming up soon. I just wanted to establish Bella and Jaspers relationship first. Once again love all the adds and reviews. They always make my day. Thank you all so much.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**CPOV**

As I look around my study. All I can feel is helpless. In just a few short days everything that I have spent my existence building. Has fallen apart around me. I have no idea how to even begin to fix this. Jasper and Bella have been gone for over two days now. Its as though they have vanished. We have been searching for days now and still we have found nothing. How is that even possible. No sent, no trail, and to visions. We have tried everything we can but to no avail. So after we exhausted our efforts. We had to choice but to return home. Only do nothing but sit and wait. Not knowing what our next plan should be.

So now I sit her watching as their absence drives the family apart. Edward and Alice have distanced themselves from everybody. Choosing to hurt alone. While Emments a mess because he didn't somehow protect them from what ever happened. Rosile is doing her best to keep him together. But as to how she is really doing no one knows. Then there is my poor Esme. She is so broken hearted by having to relive loosing her child again. While I sit her wondering what I can do to fix this. This isn't a problem that's solution is in a book. There is just nothing I can do and it kills me. I am supposed to be the leader and protect this family and I have failed miserable. I just don't know if the family can get through this. I feel as though I am on the verge of loosing everything.

**BPOV**

The morning after our little scene in the river pool. I felt so awkward and a little ashamed. I could barley bring myself to look at him. I was scared of what his eyes might say. What would come over me to make me act like that. I don't know. I keep trying to tell myself it was just because of the emotions of the recent events. That was the only explanation I could come up with because the rational part of myself knew that there was more to it than that. Though all at the same time that same rational part kept telling me that there was no way in a million years. That anything like that could happen between myself and Jasper. Still deep down inside the is a small insane part of me that saw the same feelings I had deep within his eyes. Though no matter how much that part of me hopped. That there is no way that could ever be true. But what scared me the most is that in the actions of that moment. I had destroyed what connection and friendship that there was between us. I know that he said that it wasn't the right time . But I had a feeling he just said that to spare my feelings. Right now though even if I don't want to admitted it . I wanted him to care more than anything I have ever wanted before

**EPOV**

I still don't understand how ones whole life could change so drastically in such a short period of time. Just a few days ago I thought I had it all figured out. I was about to leave Because I had found my true love in Alice. I know that it seems really harsh but it was going to be easier than pretending. Which I have been doing for a while now. Don't get me wrong I was thankful that she saved me from the Volturi and at that point I still believed that she was my true love. But when I left I found compassion and companionship with Alice . The likes of which I had never know before. I hadn't realized that it was more than that until I came back to Bella. It was as though even if I loved her with everything in me. There was just something missing. It took me awhile to figure out what that something was.

Eventually I can to realize that it was what I had with Alice. What I had though was only friendship with Alice had become so much more .I could no longer give Bella my whole heart because I had unintentionally given part of it to Alice. At first I just tried to ignore it. After all Alice was with Jasper and how could I hurt Bella like that. Then over time my feelings for Alice grew to the point I could no longer ignore them. Abut I still tried to keep it to myself. Until one night Alice and I went hunting together. We were on our way home chasing each other. When I caught her and when my arms were around her. We were so close together and I couldn't stop myself.

To my surprise she kissed me back. After the kiss we talked and come to find out she felt the same way too. But at that point neither of us were ready to make a real decision. So we waited and as time passed our feelings grew stronger. That's when we decided that we wanted to be together. We had been trying to come up with a way to tell them. Which wasn't that easy. So unable to stay away from each other. We slipped away and made love. It was amazing everything I had ever dreamed of. So I knew I was making the right choice. I was so sure that I was on my way to true happiness.

Then in a matter of hours my world turned upside down. Once we realized they were gone we searched and searched but found nothing. It was then that the realization that I had truly lost Bella hit me and it tore my heart out. The pain I felt words can even describe. I hadn't realized Bella was such a part of me. She wasn't just part of my heart but part of my soul. The immense feeling of emptiness is almost unbearable. Even with Alice by my side I still feel empty. I told her that I needed sometime but she didn't understand. Bella and Jasper being gone didn't really effect her. She puts on a sad face but she doesn't feel it. Which surprised me. She and Jasper had been together a long time. To her I guess she had already let go. I hadn't let go of Bella but I had no idea that it would be like this. How could I not have know how much Bella really meant to me. Its like peace of me is missing. No matter how hard I try not to. I know that I have made a horrible mistake.

**JAZPOV**

I am not even sure how to act around Bella anymore. What almost happened yesterday took me by surprise. But more that that what surprised me the most was how much I wanted it. But I knew that I couldn't let it happen because I didn't want her to regret it forever. She is far to good and sweet. For me to take advantage of her .When I know it was because she was hurting. But even if she wasn't I am not good enough to be with someone like her. How much I wish I was worthy enough for such genuine love from someone like her. She deserves so much more than then the monster that I am.

She cant even look at me anymore. Each time she turns away from me it breaks my heart. I feel like its all my fault she was so vulnerable and I put her in a situation in which she was compelled to act. I knew she missed Edward so much and how desperately she wanted to become a vampire. Then I dangle myself out there. Like I am her lst sliver of hope. I am such an idiot. Well at least I stopped it before it went to far. I know it hurt her when I told her no because it wasn't the right time or for the right reasons. I just hope she realizes that I meant it and that it is just as hard for me too.

**Authors** **Note** So sorry it has taken so long to update. But here it is with the other pov too. Hope you like it let me know what you think. I will try ti update again soon but I don't have internet right now. I am doing this at work . Anyways hope you guys enjoy it. You guys are awesome.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**RosePOV**

We have spent the last few days searching all for nothing. Now that we are home everyone is so lost. No one has any idea what to do. It just doesn't make any sense. For some reason deep down I know there has got to be more to this. More than what we know now. Something just doesn't feel right, I have been watching closely and trying to figure it out. That's one of the good things about everyone thinking that you only care about yourself. No one pays much attention to the things their action show because they don't think you care enough to notice. But on my case they would be very wrong. So far I have noticed something odd going on with Alice and Edward. I know they have both just lost their mate. But there is something more than that. Its almost as though they are mad at each other. For what I don't know but I am going to find out.

**BPOV**

The awkwardness and tension between us was thick. I could almost feel the hesitation in his every move. Each time hr spoke it was if he had to force the words out. It hurt to know that yesterday I could feel the connection forming between us. Being around him just felt natural. Then in one moment of whatever the hell that was. I have managed to royally screw everything up. Even after knowing what that moment caused. I couldn't keep myself from thinking about it. The feel of his skin against mine or the look I swear I saw in his eyes. The look that said he felt the same things that I did. But those memories were always short lived. Because I knew if I lingered there to long Jasper would pick up on my emotions. The last thing I needed was for him to have a reason to think any less of me then he probably already does. The pressure that I now felt in his presence. Was beginning to become almost too much to bear.

When he asked " Would you like to take a walk"?

The look on my face must have been of pure confusion because he quickly added. " I know a place that is amazing to watch the sunset. That's if you want to".

Just the thought of getting away from the cavern was enough excitement to go anywhere.

" Yeah that sounds great" I said with more enthusiasm than I meant to.

" Well than we better go. it's a ways off and if we want to make it there in time. We have to get going" He said.

" OK" I said standing up.

I hopped that leaving the cavern. Would help change the tension between us. But it didn't . That's when I realized that this situation wasn't going to fix itself. So if I wanted things to change. We were going to have to talk about this. As much as that idea scared me. Loosing what was beginning with Jasper and I scared me more.

**APOV**

I am so over this. Its just one big pity party around here. I mean I understand that everyone is sad about Bella and Jaspers disappearance. I too am a little sad about the situation. I still don't understand how I could have missed whatever happened. But no matter what did happen. It has fortunately rid me of two major problems. I had every intention of coming clean about Edward and I. But this is so much easier. That's why I just cant understand what Edwards problem is. He was going to get rid of her anyways.

So why now that she disappeared is that ant different. He had already made his choice. Now its time for him to start living it. He needs to pull his head out and see what's right in front of him. She could never compare to me. After all she is only human. I can give Edward things she can only dream of. I know because I have and it was amazing. But I guess I will have to give him time to get over his guilt. So we can move on with this fabulous life. That's waiting us.

**JAZPOV**

The day seemed to drag on forever. I wasn't sure what to do or what to say. I spent so much time analyzing my every move. That it was driving me insane. But at least it kept me from thinking about her. The way her soft warm body fit perfectly with mine. Oh and the sensation I felt when I held her. I don't like situation between us. It has changed from damn near perfect. To a absolutely frustrating stressful mess. That we find ourselves in now. I had to get out of here or I was going to explode.

Then I remembered how I used to watch . The sunset form this cliff overlooking an amazing valley. I figured if we left now we should be able to make it there in time for sunset. So I asked and she excepted. With an excitement that I hadn't expected . We left shortly after. But even after we left the cavern the atmosphere didn't change as I had been hoping for. I didn't know how to tell her what I was feeling and what had felt. Not without scaring her away and making matters worse. Why did something that felt so right. Have to be so hard and complicated.

**Authors** **Note **Sorry that its taken me so long to update. I will try to better. But sometimes its hard. I am a single mom with three kids. So sometime my writing gets put off. I however have not forgotten this story and have every intention of finishing it. Its just not always that easy to find time for it. I will try my hardest to update at least one more time this week. Hoping that if I make myself get back into it. That it will all start flowing again. Well anyways hope you all like this one and a big thank you to all of you who are still reading this. When I started this story I never expected that so many people would enjoy it too. You all make my day with the fallows and reviews. So once again THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**APOV**

I don't understand why they don't get it. I cant see anything about them. There are no visions about them or what happened. Usually I hate not knowing. But right now I don't even care. I am so beyond over them. They are gone one way or another. Everyone just needs to accept it. All I want now is to be able to get on with my new life with Edward. He just needs to get the hell over her already. This is what he wanted. What he asked for, Now is the time to embrace the future. To forget about the past. Not worry about how it happened and be thankful that it did.

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe the view once we finally reached the cliff. The valley was gorgeous. Ringed in humongous mountains of the most brilliant shades of green. It was breathtaking. We reach the cliff about fifteen minutes before sunset. We found a good place and then sat and waited. We didn't talk but it wasn't the same awkward silence that had plagued us all day. It was so soothing and I think we both breathed a sigh of relief. As the obvious tension lifted. I started to relax for the first time in what seemed like forever. Even though I was nervous about the conversation that I knew was un avoidable. I still felt at peace in the moment.

Though before my mind could wonder to far that direction. The sky began to slowly shift colors. Beginning with orange across the horizon and spreading over the sky. Then followed gently by beautiful shades of pink and then finally purple. It was the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. The sky was so wide and open it put a smile on my face. I turned to look at Jasper who was staring at the sunset with the same awe I felt. Then in that moment the awe of the sunset disappeared. Foe there was no comparison to the beauty that was before me.

The way his skin sparkled with the reflection of the colors in the sky. His blonde curles shining brightly. Nothing in the world could compare to the shear beauty of Jasper at that moment. Like he was straight from heaven because nowhere else could be responsible for something so magnificent. In that moment something deep inside me sparked. Then the complete realization that no matter the circumstance, the time frame or the utter unexpectedness of it. That I was without a shadow of a doubt. Falling completely head over heals in love with Jasper.

Whatever happened inside of me right then I knew. I no longer felt ashamed of my feelings but embraced them. With that realization my overly broken heart started to heal. That soul retching pain that had been my only consent for days began to lessen. A sense of warmth spread through my body. With a new found faith in the world I looked back upon the sunset. Even though it no longer held me in awe. Somehow I knew nothing in this world would ever as fully captivate as Jasper just had. I couldn't help but smile.

**JAZPOV**

It had taken us roughly an hour to arrive at the cliff. It was just as amazing as it always was. This place had once held great importance to me. Because the first time I beheld this sight. It had for the first time made me realize how small apart of the world my existence truly was. It was because of that moment that I had the faith that somewhere in this giant world was a true place for me. A place so far and so different than the only one had ever known. I would have never imagined just how true that was.

I would have never believe d that I would once again find myself at this very spot. Just after my world had been torn apart once more. Only to once again be filled with the sense that there was still so much out there for me. More than the life I had previously lead. Somehow knowing that even greater things were waiting on the horizon. I was so deep in my own thoughts. That when Bella's emotion brushed against me I was to far gone to pay any real attention. Lost in my own world. When I finally chanced a look at her. She had the most sincere smile across her face and there was deep sense of relief and contentment coming from her.

I briefly wondered what she was thinking. But was drawn away quickly by the thought of how much she had managed to change my life and how quickly. Then a little hesitantly I wondered if maybe just maybe she was apart of this better life I felt coming. Maybe somehow there was something so much deeper in the connection I felt between us. Or the emotions she had managed to stir inside me. As much as I wanted it to be true. I just couldn't see someone as caring and compassionate as her. Could possibly care for someone as broken as me. The thought gave me both hope and fear. But all the same I knew one way or another we were going to find out

**RPOV**

As trees blurred past me and the wind whipped through my hair. I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. Running has always been my favorite way to relieve stress. I had finished hunting awhile ago. But I just couldn't go home yet. There was too much stress and sadness there. If I hadn't of gotten out when I did I would have exploded. Even then I had to sneak out. These days Emmett never leaves my side and the few times he did it was only for mere moments. I know its just because he feels helpless. He somehow thinks he is responsible for what happened because he wasn't able to stop it. But I myself don't believe that anyone could have stopped it. Whatever it was anyway. Everyone is beginning to believe that they are dead. Not me thought somehow I just know that they are alive out there. The weird part about it is that I somehow know they are together. I can just feel it in the deepest part of myself. This however was something I kept to myself. Not even Emmett knows.

I knew no one would understand . I wasn't sure anyone could handle the truth. The part I cant understand is why were they together. That part just didn't fit. What could have happened to cause them to leave together. Though with each new question there only became more. All with no answers. The big question was how they continued to avoid Alice. No one has ever been able to do that. Even after being with her forever he couldn't do it. There was so many answerless questions swirling around my head. There was only one thing I was certain of and that was that I was going to find answers.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**JAKPOV**

I spent the day with Charlie. It was horrible. Never have I seen someone so depressed. I think the only thing that got him up in the morning was his search for her. Her picture was plastered over at least 7 states. Several news stations ran her story, Some repeatedly. Though no matter what the results were the same, nothing. The pack had run for days straight searching. We searched for some clue as to what had happened. Its like my worst nightmares had come to life. We all just wanted something. Anything to understand what had happened. Even that future seeing leech couldn't find them.

But I know she is still alive because I can feel it. I would know if she died because part of me would die too. I always thought that her becoming one of them would be the worst thing that could happen. I was wrong because this is the worst thing. At least if she had become one of them. I would know what happened and where she was. Even if it was all she ever wanted. I still never could understand why. She was so quick to trade away everything for him. I guess that is what love does. Even if you are in love with an arrogant asshole, who drinks blood.

I guess maybe on some level I understand. But I would never tell her that. I understand because I would do anything for her. No matter what it was. Even when it tears me up inside to see her with him. I would still give my life foe her. Her happiness was all that ever mattered to me. I just wish she could have found that happiness with me. I fought for her with all I had. In the end I guess there never really was a fight. Because even if she loved me too it wasn't enough.

Even knowing that wouldn't stop me from searching for her. From now until forever if I have too. I know I told her I would fight till her heart stopped beating . Though in my heart I always knew that it wouldn't change anything. I have spent a lot of time thinking lately and all I want is her back. Whether she's a leech, a zombie or a god damn dragon. I don't care it doesn't matter anymore. Sitting with Charlie only drove the point home. Because he feels the same way. He just wants her home.

I know he thinks that its somehow his fault and its killing him. Its not his fault because its mine. I was the one who left her alone. What I wouldn't do for a do over. It tears me up to know that I could have changed everything. If only I would have taken the five minutes to walk her to the house. Watching Charlie only proves the fact that it is up to me to get her back. With that though I had to leave Charlie's house because I had to bring her home or spend the rest of my life searching.

I stood up and headed for the door. As I grabbed handle I looked over my shoulder and I can see the pain in his eyes. In that moment only one thing mattered.

" Charlie, I promise I will bring her home. Even if it's the last thing I do" I said as I left his house.

With that I was out the door and running straight to the trees. It took everything I had not to phase right there. Once I hit the cover of the trees. I exploded onto all fours and ran with everything I got. It doesn't ever matter to where. All that matters is she is out there somewhere and I have to find her.

**JAZPOV**

As the sunset faded and the dark replaced the light. I started to wonder what to do next. I hadn't completely thought this plan through because the trip home would be slow and rough. Caring her really didn't seem to be an option right now. Knowing all to well that our close contact was what had caused this mess in the first place. My worries were short lived because Bella chose that moment to snap me back to reality. By asking to stay and look at the stars. I was really taken back but also relieved and agreed. She smiled and laid back with her hands behind her head.

" Aren't they so beautiful here" she said.

I laid back to careful not to get to close. Leaving only a few feet between us. But still I was incredibly aware that she was so close. My skin almost tingled with anticipation.

**BPOV**

As darkness and night began to take its place. I knew that it was now or never.

" Can we look at the stars a little while" I asked a little unsure.

" Sure" was all he said.

So I laid down and looked up at the stars amazed at just how many there were. After a few moments Jasper laid back too. I still had no idea how to start this conversation. But the longer I waited the more nervous I got. I knew if I didn't do know I would never get the courage. So like an idiot I just blurted it out.

" Jasper I think we need to talk about what happened. I just cant stand this anymore. Its driving me insane and I cant do it anymore. I just want things to go back to the way they were. I miss you" I said slightly out of breath.

It all came out in such a rush that the last part just slipped out. I instantly regretted it. After which a silence fell and I waited in fear of what he would say, His answer came short and soft " I miss you too" he said.

Never had so few words meant so much to me. But even with that huge relief I knew there was still so much that needed to be said. So once again I open my mouth and let it form the words that my mind could not.

" What happened yesterday, I don't fully know. All I know is that I screwed up everything and its killing me. I just want to say that I am sorry and that it wont happen again. But I am not so sure I am. I am just so confused. Well no actually I am not. Its just that I don't understand. All I want is for this whole thing to make sense. I don't want to feel like I am crazy anymore. I know that with everything that's going on inside me that this shouldn't be happening but it is. I am not even sure if I want it or not. All I know is I cant stop it " I said finally stopping as the tears ran down my face. Both horrified and relieved that it was all finally out. No matter what would become of it.

**JAZPOV**

As I laid there I felt Bella's emotions slowly rise. She was nervous and scared. I just didn't understand why. Was she scared of me now and nervous to be around me. The thought made me deeply sad and I was about to ask her what was wrong. When she spoke. At first her word were rushed and her emotions only grew as she talked. She said we needed to talk about what happened. When her emotions hit me I was surprised I would have never thought she felt that way. It made me feel better to know I wasn't the only one conflicted But the last words she spoke took me off guard, " I miss you " she blurted out.

From her emotions I could tell she regretted saying those last words. But that didn't make then any less true. I knew she was right and we needed to figure this all out. Though that didn't change the fact that I was scared to death to tell her my feelings. As her emotions rose higher and higher in my silence. I knew I had to say something. So I said the one thing that was truer than anything else. " I miss you too".

As silence once again grew between us. I could feel her emotions beginning to rise again. But before I could say anything else. She started to talk once more. She said that what happened was her fault and she was sorry. Which made my heart drop. But her next words told me that she wasn't. Which was a relief to me because I wasn't sorry either. More words spilled out of her and I realized that she was as confused as me. When she finished relief radiated off of her but there was tears running down her face. Which broke my heart. Still I wasn't quite sure what to say. So I just leaned over and wiped her tears away. I closed the distance between us and held her in my arms.

**BPOV**

After pouring out my heart, I felt like the world had lifted from me. As I sat there enjoying the relief. Jasper leaned over and wiped away my falling tears. Which only succeeded in making me cry more. Not because I was sad but the release of my emotions. The next thing I knew was that I was in his arms. He didn't say anything but that was ok with me. Because in that moment weather he liked it or not I was home.

**Authors** **note **Sorry I havent updated in forever but I didnt forget you. So I hope you all like it. Thanks everyone one who stuck through till now. Thanks alot love you all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**JAZZPOV**

The feel of her in my arms was amazing. I just enjoyed the feel of her for a moment. I could only imagine what it would be like to be able to hold her like this forever and for her to truly be mine. There was nothing on this world that I wanted more. I knew that if that was what I wanted I would have to go about it the right way. I knew after all that she had said that I needed to say something too.

" Bella I don't know what to say to make you feel better and help you understand what is going on. Because I am just as confused as you are. There are just so many emotions going on inside of me. Emotions that I myself don't understand. You make me feel things that I have never felt before and you make me want things that I have no right to have. You make me question so many things about myself. Everyday you bring out so many things about myself. Things that I had lost long ago.

I feel like for so many years I have been trapped. Essentially held prisoner by what other people expected of me. Or just what they saw in me. Everyone has always looked at me like they were always expecting the worse to out of me. No one has ever really had faith in me. Faith that I could be more than what I used to be. You are the first person to look at me and see good inside of me. For so long I only thought of myself as a monster. Always defined by my past. Unable to escape defining myself by my past. But when I look at you. I don't see the monster. I see the good that you see. Which has made me rethink all kinds of things about myself. I had lost so much of myself tring to be what everyone expected me to be. You don't have those kind of expectations of me. You just let me be me and that is something that I lost along time ago. Its like my past was my prison. While you are my freedom and hopefully my future. I just don't want to loose you.

**BPOV**

I laid my head on Jaspers chest and enjoyed what little closeness I had with him. I knew it would inevitably have to end. Even while I was in the comfort of his arms. I couldn't help but be a little frightened by what he was thinking. He had yet to say anything since my last emotional yammering. I was beginning to wonder if he was going to say anything at all. He took me by surprise when he finally spoke. What he said completely blew me away. I had no idea how much he really disliked himself. It made me sad to think that was how he had lived his whole life. All the thing that anyone had ever held against him. Always believing that he was forever what he was at his worst. Always seeing himself for what he hated. It hurt me to know that's all he ever believed he could be.

It was hard for me to understand because that was no where near what I saw in him. I guess that's why he said I only saw the good in him. The thought that I had been able to help him in such a profound way. Almost brought tears to my eyes. For so long I was wondering if I was helping him at all because I knew how much he was helping me. Though the best part of the speech was when he said I was his future. That melted my heart because I truly wanted to be his future. It meant so much to me that he trusted me enough to bear his heart and soul to me. I knew he deserved the same from me.

" Jasper, first of all I want you to know that no matter what you are an amazing person and you are perfect just how you are. Anyone who says different apparently doesn't really know you. Anyone who did could see that you have the biggest heart in the world. I consider myself lucky to have been given the chance to know you. You have helped me in ways no one else could have. You helped me pick up the broken pieces of my life. When I thought there was no way I could. You helped me see that what I once thought was a fairy tale was nothing more than a illusion. When I was with Edward I always felt so inferior and that no matter what I did I would never be enough for him. Then by being nothing more than yourself you showed me how it should be. With you I don't have to worry about being anything more than me. You have saved me from a life that wasn't worth the effort I put into it. But most of all you saved me from myself. A week ago if you had told we would end like we are now. I would have thought you were crazy. Its still hard to believe that in just a few days. I have went from a life I thought was perfect. To being so utterly shattered that I was sure I would fall apart. All to end up in place that is so much more than I have ever dreamed. For the past couple of days I have been fighting my feelings because there was no way I should be feeling them. I just don't think I can fight them anymore and I don't want to. I am tried of pretending their not there. I am beyond sick of worring what you will think. I just cant do it anymore. Truthfully I care you far more than I thought I could care for anyone. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that its not right for so many reasons. I don't think my heart really cares what I think. All the reasons in the world wont change anything. There is no denying the way I feel every time we touch or how I can see my whole world in your eyes. That there is no pace that feels more right than in your arms. I have never felt safer than when you hold me. Weather you like it or not you have stolen my heart. A heart that is no longer broken because its found its way home. I no longer have the desire to hide it. You have somehow become my whole world and if that scares you . I am sorry but it's the truth" I said my words rushed but there meaning was the same.

**JAZPOV**

I couldn't believe the things that Bella had said and how she felt. That was something I dreamed of but never expected to hear. I understood it so well because I felt those things too.

" I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared. Not because you care so much. Its because I care that much too. It took all of one day with you. For me to realize how absolutely wonderful you are and from the moment I did. All I wanted to do is keep you safe. To do anything in the world to make you happy. To spend my life protecting you from anyone who wished you harm. You have shown me a truer, deeper way of caring. So much more than anything I have ever known. You my dear have become my everything. I would have never expected to find what I feel for you. In just days you have given me what I have spent my whole existence searching for. I don't want to have to fight it anymore. I want to enjoy it now that I have found it." I said. Pouring my heart into every word.

I couldn't believe how things had changed. Who would have thought that everything I ever needed would be found in one Bella Swan. After everything was said we just held each other. Finally giving in to what we had been fighting. After all the pain we had been through. We somehow ended up with more than we could dream. Hours past and the night was getting cold.

" I think we should head home" I said.

" Okay " was her reply.

We stood up but weren't yet willing to each other go. We stood there for a while before Bella said "Let me try something".

Wondering what she had in mind. I looked down at her smiling face. As she slide her hands around my neck. I had to fight the urge to panic because I knew then what she was going to do. I didn't give into the fear. Instead I leaned down and met her awaiting lips. The feeling of it was unreal. It was like sparks, electricity and fireworks all at once. All the fears I might have had disappeared. Because at that moment there was only her and I and was nothing to be afraid of.

**BPOV**

Who would have thought that the beat night of my life would be in the mountains. Miles away from anywhere. But none of that mattered because when our lips finally met. The whole world vanished. There was only him and I. In that moment all the pain I had been carrying disappeared.. None of that mattered anymore I had found all that I needed.

**Authors** **Note** Hope you all like this one. Once again thanks to all of you for the reviews and such. You guys are awesome.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**BPOV**

That night under the stars has changed everything. It was as thought opened a whole new world. No longer did we spend our time so on edge. Wrapped up in our own emotional turmoil. With all the stress lifted from us. We could finally enjoy each other and our growing relationship. Each day brought us even closer. The longer we spent together the more we opened up. We share all our fears and dreams It was as though I had known him forever. But the best part were his kisses. He never kissed me like I was going to break. He kissed me with love and passion. That I wasn't even aware I missing till then and it was utterly amazing.

The days or weeks maybe even months passed by without notice. Here with him it didn't matter we had found our own personal heaven right here. The world beyond this failed to exists. We had each other and that was all we needed. We explored our little piece of heaven on an almost daily basis. We had discovered many things. Several more waterfalls and caves, valleys, rivers and views that would take your breath away. Everything about here was amazing. Well except the food. You can only eat canned everything and cold pop tarts for so long. But I guess if that's what it takes to stay here I would eat worms.

Today we decided to go passed the big north valley across the mountain of rocks I liked to call it. To see what was hidden on the other side. It was one of the few place we hadn't explored and I was excited. Who would have thought I would love hiking so much. The best part was Jasper let me walk. He didn't have the need to carry me everywhere. We just walked at my pace and enjoyed what we saw. All the things you cant enjoy when you are flying through the trees. Like the thousands of wildflowers that grew everywhere or the sound of the river. Even just the peace the wilderness brings. All the things I had never gotten a chance to love before.. WITH Jasper I found there were a lot of things I never got the chance to experience before. With him it was like discovering new little treasures everyday and I was thankful for it. It blows me away to think of all the things I was missing out on before. At this point I was glad that I caught Edward and Alice. If I hadn't I would have had a miserable existence and the worst part is I would have never known it. I was so blinded by Edward I couldn't see it.

**JAZPOV**

Never had I thought that I would ever be this truly happy. Each day I am happier then the one before. Happiness is a new emotion for me. A least on this level. I had lived all my previous existence thinking I wasn't capable of this kind of happiness.. That I had experience to much hate and carnage to have the capacity to fell such deep emotion. I was so complexly wrong. I had just been looking in all the wrong places.

I think that maybe on some level that I chose these places on purpose. Because somewhere deep down I didn't think I was worthy of it. After all that time I never fathomed that I would find all the things that I had always wanted. In a human girl of all places. If you would have told me that a year ago hell even a couple of months ago. I would have laughed in your face. Though now with her I couldn't think of it any other way.

How different life would be if I had never gotten the chance to know her like this. What if she would have just stayed Edwards little human pet. How insignificant she would have been to me. Everything I would have ever wanted or needed would have been right in front of me and I would have been to arrogant to even notice. I had never in my existence had I put much thought into humans. Well besides a food source for a great deal of this life. But besides that they never held any allure to me I suppose. For the most part they are to emotionally unstable for me to handle. I had only chosen to forgo drinking them because I thought that it would somehow atone for my previous malice.

Even when Edward brought Bella home I didn't take much interest in her. To me she was only another flash in my long existence. A humans lifespan wasn't long enough for her to matter much to me. She would be gone before I knew it. But when she entered the family she brought excitement. Her presence stirred the rest of the family. Then there was the whole James thing and that was more excitement then the family had seen in decades. Even my attempt at having her for dinner was something new in my existence. Not that I really wanted to kill her it was just instincts. Having her around did make me more fond of her then any other human.

It was that fondness that drove me to find her in the woods that night. Well that and the pain I knew we shared. Which turned out to be the single most life altering thing I had experienced since my change. If it had not been for our shared heartbreak of the moment. I don't think anything could have connected us like that. Just thinking about it makes my head spin. She has went from a slightly entertaining human that had found her way into my life. To becoming everything to me and my whole life.

Its all those things that I never took time to notice before. That have become the light of my once dark world. From the way she smiles at m and I don't need my gift to know how much she cares. To the little things like the infinite colors of the wildflowers she loves so much. Its all the little things that gives the heart I gave up on so long ago life. How with just one touch she can send electricity through my body making me feel more alive then ever before. There are so many things she does everyday that wakes up parts of me that were lost long ago.

The most amazing thing she has shown me so far is myself. Which is something I too am learning. She brings out parts of me I didn't even know I had. Everyday with her is a new experience and I find myself in a whole new world. One that's filled with both love and kindness. It is so refreshing not to have someone waiting for you to screw-up. Someone who doesn't think I am to damaged to be saved. My past doesn't play a part in how she sees me. So she doesn't hold it against me. As so many other have. To her my past is just that my past. She only sees me for who I am now. Which is a totally new way for me to look at life. I have always felt so defined by my past. For so long it has made up all that I was. She was the first person tp see past and for the first time I am too. I can finally let that world go. So I can embrace the one that is now.

**JAKPOV**

I have spent so much time as a wolf. That I was beginning to loose my human self. Who wanted to be human when it always hurt so much. There was always so much pain and regret being human. Being a wolf is simple. Each problem has a solution. When your hungry you eat. When your tired you sleep. Wolves don't get broken hearts. All you have are instincts. If it wasn't for my promise to Charlie I would have given into the wolf long ago. But I had to find out what happened to her. For Charlie and for myself. it's the reason I came here in the first place. I know she didn't just disappear. There had to be more to it. Somewhere there had to be a clue and I was going to find it. I had lost track of how long I had been searching. Time isn't incredibly relevant to a wolf. My only goal was to find her. No matter how long it took. I will run forever if that's what it takes.

**BPOV**

I finished packing the bag that I needed for our adventure. All those things humans need to survive. Sometimes being human was so inconvenient. Always having to prepare. Making sure you have enough food, enough water and even toilet paper. It gets old. Especially when your with someone who doesn't need anything but themselves. Well at least I don't have to carry the bag. Its one of the few things Jasper insists on. Which is fine by me.

" Are you finished packing" He said. Reaching for the bag.

" Yep all the human necessities are ready to go" I said with humor. Which earned me a smile.

" Lets go adventuring" I said and we headed out.

**Author** **Note**Thank you all for the reviews Once again you guys are awsome


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER 23**

**RPOV**

Its been weeks since they disappeared. Everyone is finally getting back to some sense of normality. Carlise is back working at the hospital. Esme once again doing projects around the house and garden. Emment is finally less clingy and allows me time by myself. Even Edward is doing whatever boring stupid things he does. I have even taken several shopping trips with Alice. Everyone's actions are normal but their hearts are no longer in it. There is no longer any joy gained by the actions that once brought it. We all do these things because that is what is expected of us. It is really hard to watch everyone act as though things aren't so broken.

The only one who is not in the trance is Alice. She is in Paris shopping while everyone else tries to go on with their lives. With little success I might add. It is almost as if she doesn't even hurt at all. At first I thought it was just her way of coping. But not so much anymore. I am beginning to think that there is more. Something that she is not sharing. I knew that what happened couldn't be as mysterious as it seems. That we had to have missed something somewhere. But now I think it wasn't something we missed but something not shared. Something hidden even. Now I just have to figure out what.

**JAZPOV**

Our hike was fairly uneventful. Bella hadn't even fallen today. She was getting good at this hiking thing. We had made rather good time too. But as we started across the mountain I could tell she was nervous.

"That's a long way down" she said.

" Yes, but I would never let you fall" I told her taking her hand.

It was about thirty minutes before we reach what we had come to see. Which was what laid beyond the forest on the far side of the mountain. I had been reluctant to cross the mountain before. It seemed like tempting fate allowing Bella to cross it. But we had explored every other direction quite extensively. So it was essentially our last unknown. At least within a days hike for Bella. We had made it through the worst part now. I could feel Bella's excitement build as we entered the forest. I loved how she found such happiness in all the little things. It was because of her that I found treasures everyday in the world I thought I knew so well. I could smell the water long before we saw it and there was a lot of it. Now I was excited too.

**BPOV**

I was proud of myself today. I had managed not to fall once today. Though there were some close calls but those don't count. Which was good because the mountain we had to cross had me worried. You know me being me and all. A flat surface could be a challenge some days. So when you add rocks and a massive drop it gets a little unnerving. I tried my hardest no to let it scare me but it did. Then Jasper took my hand and I knew I would be alright. He had a way of doing that. After we made it off the mountain the excitement started to build. I had been waiting along time to see what the mountain and the trees hid. We walked for a good twenty five minutes before the forest opened up and when it did it was gorgeous. A lake spread as far as I could see. Hugged tightly by the massive trees. Mountains rose high on all sides hiding the lake that snaked between. The water was so clear that I could see the bottom. We explored for awhile but soon it was time for lunch. So I found a nice spot and laid out the blanket.

**JAKPOV**

I had been running through the forest for so long now. That it all had began to look the same. I could no longer distinguish where I was or where I was headed. I just ran. The sun would rise and fall but it didn't matter. I had covered most of the U.S by now. I was beginning to wonder if aliens taken them because it was starting to seem as though the vanished. I wasn't so sure how much longer I could keep this up. At least without completely loosing myself to the wolf that I had become so accustom to. Because these days I felt more wolf than human. It was to the point I wasn't so sure I could turn back when the time finally came.

I was so focused on running and the endless chatter of my mind that I almost registered in my mind. I tried to stop and my front legs gave out. Then I went tumbling through he forest. When I finally came to a stop. I was so tangled in myself . That it took a minute to right myself and I headed back the way I had co Thinking surely my mind was playing tricks on me and I hadn't really smelled anything. But sure enough it was there. The trail was faint and had been traveled early that morning. The sent lead further into the forest toward the mountains. I couldn't understand why she would be way out here. Then I shook my head and realized it didn't matter. I turned onto the trail and ran like it meant my life. I guess on some level it did.

**JAZPOV**

I watched Bella eat her lunch. How odd it would be to eat again. My mind wondered as I waited for her to finish. I laid back taking in the sun that I had for so long bee deprived of. I closed my eyes and let the warmth sink in. I had been laying there for a few minutes when I felt her finger tips lightly brush my skin. The sensation she invoked with such a small touch never sensed to amaze me. So I stayed put and let the electricity build. It was almost to much to take.

" Do you have any clue how amazingly beautiful you are" She asked?

I opened my eyes to see her lightly tracing my scares.

" There are many people who would say otherwise" I said.

" Well those people don't matter" She said defensively.

" I think you are right because the only person that matters is more beautiful then I could ever be" I said smiling.

" Why Mr. Hale are you tring to flatter me" She said in mocked astonishment. Still tracing my scares.

The sensation was more thenI could handle and in a instant I had her pinned beneath me. The look of shock on her face was priceless. I leaned down and slowly started kissing her neck.

" Is it working" I said between kisses.

" You are doing more than flattering me" She replied.

"I try my best" I said teasingly.

Before I could progress any further I heard it. Something big was coming throught the forest right at us. Bella notice the shift in my concentration.

"Whats wronge " she asked.

**JAKPOV**

As I drew closer I hear her. Such a magical sound. A sound I had been missing for so long. It was then that for the first time I realized she wasn't alone. Then I realized her sent wasn't the only one on the trail. I had been so excited that I hadn't realized it. As I came closer I slowed readying myself to shift back. It took lomger than usual but I eventullay calmed down enough to phase. Once I was on two legs again it felt wobbly and strange. It took a few minutes for me to be able to walk normally. Then I was there standing naked. That was the first time I had tought about my pants in a long time. They were dirty and pretty torn but they would have to work. I slipped into them and headed the final distance between Bella and myself

**BPOV**

I felt Jasper tense and it was like my whole world fell apart. I knew that what we had here was to good to last. It was like we were defieing the laws of nature by being this happy. In my heart I just knew it was over. In the blink of an eye Jasper was infrount of me. Crouched and ready to take on whatever was out there. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that it be him to walk out of the forest.

**JAKPOV**

As I emrged from the forest I saw her with one of those bloodsucker crouched before took a minunte for the realization to hit. By the time it did Bella had flung herself into my arems. It was so nice to hold her and know she was safe.

**BPOV**

I coulnt believe my eyes it was Jake. I ran at him hurling myself into his arms. After a few minutes I asked " Jake what are you doing here"

" What am I doing here. What are you doing here. Everyone has been searching for you. Charlie is sick with worry. You should see him" was Jakes ansewer.

For the first time Charlie crossed my mind and my heart sank. How could I have not of thught of him. I had been so worried about myself . That I had complety forgotten the ineccent people we had left behind. People who loved us and would worry.

" I am sorry Jake. I had to leave I didn't have a choice" I said.

It was then that I told him the story of what had happened and how my old life ended.

**JAKPOV**

As she told her story I could see the pain in her face. I couldn't believe that fithy bloodsucker would do that to her. I never liked him but for whatever reason I thought he loved her and would take care of her. I was so very wronge.

" Why couldn't you have let me know. I would have been there for you like always" I almost begged.

" Jake at that point all I wanted was to get as far away from there as possible" She pleaded.

" If you couldn't then. Then why not later. You have been gone for weeks maybe even months" I argued.

It was then that I realized she was holding his hand. It hit me then she had traded one leech for another. She never even thought of me. Once she relized I saw she dropped his hand.

"Its not what you think Jake" She cried.

"Then what is it then" I yelled.

"I didn't mean for things to happen this way" She begged me to understand.

:You didn't mean for it to happen huh. So you didn't just trade one bloodsucker for another. You didn't mean to forget about everyone who care about you because your in love. I know you don't mean to but you always do. You always forget everyone else when a leech is involved. No one else matters to you when they do" I yelled. Not caring if it hurt her. She never seems to care that she hurts me.

"Its not like that. That's not how I ment it to be" She pleaded.

"It doesn't matter how you ment it to be. I have been dropped to many times because of them. No matter what I do I will never be enough for you. I am sorry I cant be the kind of monster you need" I yelled.

"Its not like that and you know it. You know I love you. That I will always love you. You are my best friend" She cried as tears ran down her face.

"Wheather you mean to or not dosent make it hurt any less. I am sick of always being second best. Only good enough to be there when no one else is. I don't think I want to best friend anymore it hurts to much" I screamed as my body trembled aching for the change.

With that I ran for the forest amd the relief I knew it brought.

"Jake stop" She yelled.

But I couldn't and kept running.

"Don't woeey I will tell Charlie that your not dead" I yelled back.

Once the forest coved me I ripped my pants off and fastened them to my ankle. Then the wolf took over and I ran. Ran from the pain that had become so much of my life.

**JAZPOV**

I watched them scream at each other. Feeling all the emotions and pain. But I knew it wasn't my place and that they both needed this. No matter how hard it was for me to watch. I just had to wait for it to be over and then help pick up the pieces.

**BPOV**

Just like that he was gone. Gone, gone, gone and he hated me. But how could I blame him. I had hurt him to many times. It tore me up to know how much pain I had caused him. I couldn't help iot though I just didn't love him like that way. The tears streamed down my face as I stared after him. So lost in my own guilt. Then two stronge arms wrapped around me and I could breath again.

**Author****Note** Once again thank you to all of you who have stayed with me. I know my updates are slow. But I dont intend to leave this unfinised. so bear with me and we will get there. As always thanks for the reveiws and adds. You all are amazing.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**BPOV**

Our encounter with Jake had ruined our little adventure. I just could stop thinking about all the things he had said, Was I really that awful of a person. How could I have left behind all the other people who cared about me and not even of looked back. Never once since we had found our little world had it even crossed my mind. The more I thought about things the worse it got. Jasper sensed my mood and we decided to cut the adventure short. We headed home hoping that the hike would help me clear my mind.

We reached the mountain and I was as nervous as ever. But Jasper took my hand and we went slow. The relief I felt when we reached the other side was great. We were making our final decent off the mountain when Jaspers posture changed. At first I figured it must be Jake again until I looked at Jaspers face.

"What is it" I asked?

"There is another vampire here" He said.

"Not one I recognize either" He added.

He scanned the tree line at the base of the mountain. He tucked me behind him and we waited. It wasn't long before a figure emerged from the trees. His eyes locked on us and in a instant he was before us. One look and I knew who it was.

"Dimitri" I whispered.

" What a surprise it is to find you two so far away from home" He almost purred.

"What do you want" Jasper asked?

"Still protecting that stupid human girl I see. Wasn't she supposed have made the change by now" He said his voice full of humor.

"What does it matter to you anyways. Are you going to go running to your bosses now" Jasper asked defensively?

" Well no I am not my bosses are a little busy at the moment" He said smiling.

"Then why are you even here then" I asked?

"I am here purely as a distraction "He answered.

"A distraction for what " I asked before I could stop myself.

"Now that my dear human doesn't matter does it. You are to far away to even make difference anyway" He laughed.

My heart dropped what could they possibly be planning and how were we going to make it out of this one.

**JAZPOV**

I could see it in his eyes that he was going to strike. I pushed Bella out of the way so I could engage him. We slammed together with a sound louder than thunder. It only took me a second to realize he knew how to fight. This was going to be brutal. I managed to evade his first few blows but he also evaded mine. I barley managed to evade his blow to my face.. I sidestepped and landed one to his jaw. I saw the crack spread down his cheek. He retaliated with a blow to my knee which knock of balance enough for him to land several more blows. It went back in forth in that manner for a while. With both of us taking some blows and then giving some. I knew in the end it would come down to luck.

All it would take is one wrong move and it would turn deadly. It was just a matter of time before the inevitable would happen. More blows were exchanged. No one had the upper hand. All it took was one misstep and he got a hold of my arm. A second later and one swift bite my arm was gone. It was at that moment that I knew our odds of survival were low. Without me Bella wouldn't stand a chance.

**BPOV**

I watched in horror as they collided sending a thundering sound through the air. They moved so fast that I could hardly see what was happening. All I knew is that I was scared very scared. Not just scared for myself but for Jasper. What would happen to us if he lost. As I watched a deafening screech filled air. Just like that Jaspers arm went flying. Without thinking I charged Dimitri. He barley seemed to notice my useless attack. Without missing a beat he hit me sending me down the side of the mountain.

I hit the ground on cluster of rocks and I heard my ribs snap. Pain shot through my body. But it didn't stop there. He had hit me with enough force that I continued down the mountain. With each roll I picked up speed. No matter how much I tried I couldn't slow myself. As I tried to grab a bush to slow myself. I landed on my arm snapping it. The pain was unbelievable and spots flooded my vision. After that I gave up and let gravity take me.

If I somehow managed to make it through this Dimitri would never let me live I seemed to roll forever. I wondered how far I would go and how could I even make there. But soon the pain was everything. I only held on to the hope that it had to stop at some point. The trees had to be getting close. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind . When I saw a glimpse of a huge tree just before I slammed into it. At the moment of impact everything went black.

**JAZPOV**

I saw Bella rush Dimitri . Even thought I knew it was pointless I was awed at the fact she tried. For that I loved her even more. Dimitri swat her away as if she were a fly. As Dimitri flung her away I watched helplessly as she flew down the mountain side. As she landed I heard her bones brake and still I could do nothing. All that I could do was try to find a way to take Dimitri out. That was the only way that any of it mattered because without me he would never let bella survive. A few seconds later as I managed to evade the onslaught of fists. I heard more bones brake and the air filled with the sent of her blood. It killed me to know that I couldn't help her. But I couldn't loose this battle. Everything that I had grown to love rested upon this battle. So I fought back with everything I had. I would fight for us until flames consumed me.

I fought on and thin I heard a final thud from Bella and then silence. There was no way for me to know if she was alive or not. The thought rocked me to the core. That moment of distraction was all he needed. In a split second my whole world came to an end. He caught a hold of my arm and flung me to the ground. I knew it was over then. All that was left was one quick bit and my existence would be over. I saw him lung at me teeth barred. I closed my eyes and waited for the end. All I saw was Bella's face. MY last moments would be filled with her and the love she had brought to my life

**authors** **note**I am so sorry I havent updated but I no longer have a working computer. I am using a friends computer for this I just wanted to let you know I hadnt forgotten the story. Thank again you are awesome.


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